It was going to be about a garden

 

Okay, this came in to my email as I was putting together a blog post about visiting a garden on a gorgeous Sunday afternoon and never mind that it's January.  And then my email went ping and*:  http://boilingsnowforwater.blogspot.com/2011/01/pegasus-or-how-to-write-story-about.html

 ::Serious preening::

Usually I post reviews to Twitter** but I was in the middle of cropping garden photos*** and was delighted at the prospect of some distraction.  So I thought I'd stick it up here.† 

. . . And now my footnotes have totally run away with me and so tonight we are having an entry in which Much depends from Little, like Damoclesian swords and threads.  Maybe you'd like to move your chairs just a little to one side. . . . 

* * *

* under the subject line 'awesome frelling pegasi' 

** See, you should be following me on Twitter.^  But then, you don't need chivvying to read PEGASUS, right?  

^ Twitter is fun.  It's a time-suck, sure, but it's fun.  It's your very own unique self-designed news feed.  If you aren't having fun with it, you've got no one to blame but yourself, which means you can fix it.  I recommend following @jscarroll, for example, not only because he's an awesome writer+ but because he tweets staggeringly excellent things like this:  http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lel1a9NV8G1qcmny4o1_500.jpg ++ which I hadn't realised is my motto.+++  Oh, frell, does the reference need explaining?  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keep_Calm_and_Carry_On  It has totally taken over as everyone's favourite cultural riff over here—I bought the tea towel [sic] before the phrase became the Michael Jackson of gimcrackery—but of the rash of nose-thumbing responses, this one's by far my favourite. 

+ http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_c_1_16?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=jonathan+carroll&sprefix=jonathan+carroll ~ 

~ Crumbs!  Check out the cover on this reissue!! (Southdowner!  This means YOU!) http://www.amazon.co.uk/Land-Laughs-Fantasy-Masterworks/dp/1857989996/ref=sr_1_9?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1294610044&sr=1-9#_

I may have to buy it again.  Never much liked the old mass-market cover.  And I wish to point out (she says stiffly) this is not buying a book for its cover.  I already have the book.  This is just buying the cover.  

++ Not Entirely Safe For Work Etc.  I'm never quite sure how many fifth graders and Great Aunt Gladyses may read this blog.  Since there's a major disconnect between my private mouth and my professional fingers on the keyboard I'm never sure how much bubble wrap to apply either. 

+++ I've believed for many years that it's 'there must have been an easier way'.  

*** AND CURSING.  Gibbergibbergibbergibbergibber.  Gardens—photographing gardens—is a ratbag.  If I'm going to start behaving like someone with a serious camera I am going to have to grapple with this again.  Oh gods maybe I should have stuck with a simple-minded point and frelling shoot.  No, no, no, no, think of that first pic of the hellhounds. . . . 

† And while I'm at it, http://deirdrej.livejournal.com/3744.html , which she did post to Twitter.  This is a lovely review, but it made me laugh because she docks me one star (four out of five) because of the heinousness of the ending.  Well, yes.  I've abased myself elsewhere about this.  But remember I need to keep eating.  Cutting PEGASUS into two books means I get paid twice. 

            Which reminds me of something I've been debating saying on the blog.  Pre-blog—and even more drastically pre-Twitter—I only read the reviews that Merrilee sent me.  Generally speaking I don't find criticism helpful;  either I don't agree, or I already know I botched something, in much acuter detail than the criticiser does.^  And I'm one of these predictable oversensitive obsessives who broods about bad reviews, even when I think they're full of rat turds.  Which is just a waste of my limited and stressed-out energy, since my story-telling is pretty frelling uninfluenceable.   The story itself is my first, last and most of my middle authorities.  If it can't tell me what to do, it's probably hopeless.  Certainly a few select pre-publication readers, including creatures like husbands, agents and editors have crucial input . . . but it's mostly me and the story. 

            So when people send me links to reviews, sometimes I read them and sometimes I don't.  Do you know that cliché about how whether or not an editor accepts your book will be based on whether he/she enjoyed his/her breakfast that morning?^^  I'm a bit like that about clicking on review links.^^^  If I'm feeling strong and perky, I read them.  If I'm not, I don't.  Occasionally I click through before checking adequately about the strong-and-perky level.  Sometimes this is a big mistake.

            So I thought I'd say here:  Not everybody is going to like every book.  This is fine and normal and (counter-intuitively) a good thing (within limits).  It's a sign of character.   How unutterably bland something no one disliked would have to be.  And I know I'm a, ahem, leisurely writer.^^^^  I'm interested in the details of the world and the culture and the people, so a lot of that is going to get into the finished story.  If you want action on every page, Robin McKinley is not your writer.

            But . . . I've said it before and I'll say it again.  Reviewers need to learn the difference between this book did not work for me and this book eats discarded zombie parts.  It is your right not to like something.  It is flaming insufferable arrogance to assume that because you didn't like it it's not a good book.  And I'm not talking about reviews only of my books:  I will stop reading a slagging-off review of any book where there's no acknowledgement that the reviewer's opinion is subjective. ^^^^^

            And one more thing:  nothing gets you on my personal hit list faster or more permanently than being caught getting your facts wrong, and again, this is for any book, not just one I've written.  But for example if you're going to write a review saying that PEGASUS is no good because the furry unicorns aren't pink, you'd better be very frelling sure there are lavender unicorns in it.  Or if you're going to slam JANE EYRE because the protagonist has a mad husband locked up in the attic which makes her an unsuitable and unsympathetic heroine. . . . 

^ No one can punish you like you can. 

^^ This is an old cliché from a politer era, so the version I know doesn't mention the hot sex the editor needs to have had the night before. 

^^^ Ref previous footnote to this footnote:  ::whistles nonchalantly:: 

^^^^ Although I'm amazed at readers and review-writers saying that 'not much happens' in PEGASUS.  What?  Wow.  I am from another planet. 

^^^^^ Inaccurate positive reviews . . . well.  I tend to slide with those.  Although I've bought not a few books based on someone's rave review(s) and, having felt that I read some other book than the one they were talking about, gone back later to reread the original review and had my I Am From Another Planet reaction.  But beneath this evil-cow-like exterior there beats the heart of a starry-eyed dweeb, and at some level I believe that every good review is a tiny blow for reading and every bad review is a tiny blow against.   I'm motivated to let bad good reviews skate past the radar.