The Last Time You Asked

Every day, every day, I keep hearin’ it.

What is WRONG with the people nowadays? I just wanna read my magazine and be left alone. A late night job at a bus station and instead I get a whole crowd of rowdies, day in day out. It ain’t right! Do I get the drunk crowd? On a Tuesday?!
It ain’t right.

Yeah it’s stormy out, yeah the bus is late. Of course it’s late, it’s storming! You don’t need to ask me every ten minutes, I don’t know! Nobody tells me anything, I just flash the lights when the bus comes and check bags and that’s about it. My default answer is “in a half an hour” and it’ll keep being “in a half an hour” until the damn bus comes! So it’s late, so what? There’s only one bus to Syracuse, you got other plans to get there?
Shoulda used THEM!
Instead'a botherin’ me.

Yeah I got your bag here, lady, you’ve checked on it twice now. You can see it from where you sit. Nobody else is coming behind this desk, I work nights alone. Though if you’re so keen on bags, maybe I’ll hire you. You just stand there and make sure nobody’s fussing with the luggage, then. Here’s a nickel.

Where’s the bus? You asked that before, then the bus came and you got on it, that’s what happened. How did you miss the bus when you walked right outside and saw it come in? I don’t got the patience to deal with you folk, actin’ like I didn’t call out the name of the bus and tricked ya. I don’t got the humor to trick ya. I just wanna read this magazine and get through it all. The next one is in two hours. Sit tight, and don’t bother me that I didn’t make it clear enough.
I make it clear enough, I tell ya when a bus is here. It’s the only thing I’m here to do.

Yeah, yeah. Disappearing bags, eh? Got a claim ticket? Then your bag didn’t disappear. Wasn’t anyone else in here but you and me. And your stupid hat but I don’t think it’s considered another being, though it looks like it wants to become one. Nasty thing it is.

Sometimes folks like you get nervous and run out, all the better for me. Keeps it quiet in here. Keep hearing muttering of “alternate worlds” and “twins” and I just don’t need it. Well, I wouldn’t say anything against havin’ a twin! He could sit here and deal with you larks and I could be readin’ in the diner with some coffee. A night like this could use some coffee.
The bus to Cambridge is on time, son. Sit back.

The bus to Cambridge is still on time.

I really worry about you kids, is it the dope weed in your brains? The Cambridge bus is still twenty minutes out, the way it was when you asked just a few minutes ago. And two minutes before that. Yeah, go have yourself a smoke outside, and as you enter again I’ll be sure to yell out that the bus to Cambridge is STILL due in twenty minutes, you numbskull.
Brainless maniacs, the lot of them.

Ma'am, your bag is still behind the counter. It’s been here all along.
And I saw you disturbing that other couple, then the couple disturbed me to report that you disturbed them. Let’s just keep it all in-line and not bug anybody we don’t know, alright ma'am?

Ma'am?
Yes your bag is here and I told you not to bother people you don’t know.

There somethin’ in the air around here? Been eatin’ paint chips off the walls, folks?

I got a crossword to do here.

You saw another girl that looks like you?
Well maybe change your hairstyle a bit and stop bringing your identity problems to me, eh miss? I’m no fashion consultant, I wear glasses and I don’t need people jerkin’ my chain night after night talkin’ about people who look like them. That’s all you are, this is just some trick. And I won’t have it.
No other bus folk have to do this. Nobody else has to assure passengers that they aren’t being chased from another dimension. What gets into you folks? Bus riders all gone wacko? I could use another me, I tell ya. Tell your other you to be nicer to the hired help, alright.

Yeah.

Now arriving, bus to Cambridge. Cambridge bus, now boarding out the door. Yes, that’s you, sir. Your bag is on the way out, miss. Yeah.
Bus to Cambridge is outside, all aboard for the bus to Cambridge. Last call.
Flick the lights a little here, there we go, place sure cleared out. Alright then.
Time to dig into the crossword, finally some good time.

Cambridge? The bus to Cambrige? Now son I flashed the lights and called out and saw you walk right out them doors to get on it, yes I did.
If you missed it that’s your own fault, son, I can’t help you there.
I saw you walk out for the bus, I even said a nice goodbye. Well I nodded.
Wasn’t you?
It ain’t my eyes that’s the problem, it’s you kids.
This must be a trick, I ain’t gonna fall for it.
Been weeks of this, nobody else has to deal with this.
Next bus to Cambridge is in three hours, son.
Now, some good ol’ time with my crossword…

A story inspired by the “other side” of the counter in the Twilight Zone episode “Mirror Image.”

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