The hags! Who are they? Where are they from? What do they want?...

The hags! Who are they? Where are they from? What do they want? Wait, what are you, wait, careful with those sticks! Augh agh urgh urk -

Why hello dears!

Hellos to you all!

Here we are on the author’s sociable mediatings! The magics of modern communimications!

Electrickericks and computational internetterings!

Look at all the lovely delicious peoples reading his Tumblrings and Twitterations and Bookityfaces! So manies!

Enough to fill a very small phone box and still have room for the giant cat!

Mustn’t forget the giant cat!

Lovely delicious giant cat! Where is the wretched thing?

Posting rude comments on the YouTubers, I think. Naughty cat!

Ooh, a bit like that sneery-headed author who thinks he’s so clever was being rude about us!

Naughty, naughty author! We’re not nasty old hags! We’re adorable defenceless old women looking for beds and breakfasts!

We’re sweet and harmless and if you call us hags again we’ll take your thumbs off and feed them to the cat!

Oh no!

No?

Feed them to the cat? Waste of good thumbs!

Naughty, delicious thumbs! Much tastier than Tumblrs!

But what about the cheeky arty-schmarty lad what does the auld drawings?

Oh, we’ll let illustriminator Cat Birdboy off because he caught our good side.

And because he’s half-bird half-cat so there’s nothing we could do to make it worse for him.

So just be a teensily bit more careful about what you call us in future, sneery- faced authory-schmauthory!

Or as the song says you’ll be typing without thumbs!

Now, off to the YouTubers to find that naughty cat!

And some troll stew?

Hang on, I’ll just google a recipe.

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Uh, ow, ouch, whuh…. what the heck just happened?