Some Compensations

This is a nice piece from the Sunday New York Times about Alzheimers, written by a man whose mother is actually much more playful and fun than she ever was in her regular life.

“Nice piece about Alzheimers” may seem an improbable collection of words, but I was reminded of my own father, who died nine years ago. Please understand that it was an agonizing process to witness a brilliant man gradually lose all his faculties. There were some compensations, though. He said thank you, and showed genuine gratefulness, in a way that he had rarely done in his more competent years. A more tender and relational side came out. As his speech ran out, we had physical contact we had never known before: holding hands, touching, hugging. When I remember those years, I don’t recoil in horror. It’s bittersweet.

I think people generally are scared to death of Alzheimers, as though it’s the worst thing that could ever happen. It’s bad. I wouldn’t wish it on any family. But I’m sure it’s not the worst thing.