Why Can't Men Be Taught Not To Rape?
We live in a society that teaches women to be careful not t get raped, instead of teaching men not to rape. Think about that for a moment and we'll get back to that idea right after some statistics on rape first.
The U.S. Bureau of Justice Statistics states that 91% of rape victims are female and 9% are male, and 99% of rapists are male, using the definition of rape as penetration by the perpetrator.
There is no nationally accepted definition of rape in the United States, instead each state has their own laws. These definitions can vary considerably, but most of them do not use the term rape any more, instead using"sexual assault", "criminal sexual conduct", "sexual abuse", "sexual battery", etc.
In 2012, the FBI updated its definition of rape to include male rape and non-forcible rape.
U.S. Justice Department's Bureau of Justice Statistics, found nearly 250,000 rapes or sexual assaults occurred in 2011.
1 out of every 6 American women has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape in her lifetime. Among all victims, about nine out of ten are female.
1 out of every 33 American men has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape in his lifetime.
Ages 12-34 are the years with the highest risk.
100% of completed rapes, 39% of attempted rapes, and 17% of sexual assaults against females result in injured victims.
Only around 36% of injured victims receive medical care.
Nearly 6 out of 10 sexual assault incidents were reported by victims to have occurred in their own home or at the home of a friend, relative, or neighbor.
43% of rapes were between 6:00pm and midnight
Sexual assault is one of the most under-reported crimes, with an average of 39% being reported to the police each year.
The closer the relationship between the female victim and the offender, the greater the likelihood that the incident will not be reported.
When the offender was a friend or acquaintance, an average of 71% were not reported.
42% of rapists are never married.
The average age of an arrested rapist is 31 years old.
Survivors of sexual assault are:
3 times more likely to suffer from depression
6 times more likely to suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder
13 times more likely to abuse alcohol
26 times more likely to abuse drugs
4 times more likely to contemplate suicide [ Source: Rape Crisis Center ]
When I posted the concept that women are always taught how to protect themselves against rape but men are not taught NOT to rape, I received a mixed bag of responses from the guys. One guy told me,
“I'm pretty sure we get the message. So much so, that most men live in unholy fear of being falsely accused of rape. Most men aren't rapists.”
Well, that is true to a certain extent, but what most guys seem to forget is that you only become a rapist when you rape. And most likely the rape that had occurred does not get reported. For example, in New York City, the week of April 20th, there were 107 rapes reported. How many went unreported?
And sometimes non-violent guys who really want sex and their partners say no, think they are just being “cute,” when they start to “play” with their girlfriends/wives/lovers and push her, tickle her, start to rip off clothes, etc and next thing you know, they are having sexual intercourse without her consent. Now what is a woman to do in that situation?
Or when a guy is just getting carried away with kissing and petting and having himself a good old time, and the clothes start to come off. She is telling him, “No, sweetie not now,” or, “No, sweetie I can't do this now,” and he is NOT listening. What is happening then? You guessed it; he is going to rape her. See, most guys may not be convicted rapists, and most guys that you know or that I know, may never rape a woman, but there is always that slight chance that a guy gets carried away with a woman who is NOT interested in having sex with them. When a guy takes it all the way and she does not give her consent, that is defined as rape.
In today's society, that is what a man SHOULD be taught. Rape is something that never should happen for any reason. And a woman should never lie about being raped when she was never raped at all just because she regrets having intercourse with a man, either. Then you have this lawmaker, Republican state Rep. Mike Bocchino , make a comment like this, "If there are witnesses to a reported rape it means it was a “really great party.” Not only does this man need to be taught as to what rape really is, but he needs to be taught that women should be respected and rape is not a party at all. A woman's body is not something that is to be treated as if it were a toy, a play thing, and that is where the problem starts.
A woman brought you into this world, a man has NO right to disrespect her. Period.
