My Own Misadventures with Reality
On our trip to South Dakota we stayed in two roadside hotels. To see the kids’ reactions, you’d have thought I’d taken them to Disneyland and packed their suitcases with nothing but swimsuits and Skittles.
At the hotel, the dog was the first to stray from the rules of polite society. Fanny jumped out of the car and started running. Because I can only juggle so many balls at a time, I just watched it happen. Then she ran into the hotel (automatic doors). With unbridled enthusiasm she proceeded to explore the halls at top speed.
The kids, it turns out, didn’t understand the concept of a hotel any better than the dog, especially the part about staying in your assigned room. While I was trying to figure out what happened to Daphne, who disappeared immediately (to get me complimentary coffee, incidentally), Lila said, “I’m going running.” She calmly walked into the hall to do wind sprints up and down the corridor. By the time I stuffed us all into the same room, we’d already been warned about our noise levels. In the room Silas unpacked our luggage and put it in the trash along with all the Kleenex. He threw the rest of the stuff in the toilet. It looked like a pretty fun game.
In the past, I’ve felt bad that Harley and I can’t take the kids to Disney World (not in the budget), but now I realize it’s sort of awesome that we’ve set the bar so low. Who would have known that a roadside motel with a continental breakfast could be such a thrill? Granted, both places served Fruit Loops.
Now that I’m writing this, I’m wondering if I already blogged about this. I don’t know what the hell has happened to me in the last few weeks. The book is coming out shortly. Feel free to add it on Goodreads or pre-order it on Amazon. That will make me look good, which I would appreciate.
Tonight I got my first couple of Ruby reviews on Goodreads. One woman hated it and the other loved it. Jessica Adkins-Charles of Bottles & Books wrote: “Ruby’s Misadventures With Reality is laugh out loud hilarious with so many humorous mishaps and antics. Samantha Bohrman kept me entertained from the very first sentence. I’m not sure where she comes up with half the things she does, but I think we should erect a bronzed midget statue of her to worship. Yes, this book was THAT good.”
That totally balanced out the two-star review. Also, staying in a hotel with three tornadoes is a really good distraction from my own stuff. Nothing brings you back to reality like cramming three kids and a dog into a car and hitting the road. Sure, the kids are annoying, but it’s so fun to see them taking joy in a world they are still discovering. Sitting at a casino/McDonalds/gas station/Chinese buffet/abandoned bowling alley in Brandon, South Dakota, I thought, “Wow, this is a total shit hole.” Right in the middle of that craptastic mess of mediocrity and tired travelers, Daphne ran to an abandoned section of the parking lot and found a bunch of absolutely beautiful dried grass. She made a really nice bouquet. It’s sitting on the kitchen table now.
Until next Monday,
Sam
