Focus on the Family creates itemized price list for 'saving' marriage

You guys, if you donate forty buckerooskies to the notoriously and infamously anti-gay Focus on the Family, you can save one marriage. Or, um, two. They claim different things in different places.

Either way, they definitely have managed to put a price tag on the reparation of heterosexual marriages ruined by gays:

[Via email]

But if you only give $39.99, the straight couple(s) will quietly resent one another over brunch. Anything less than that? Affairs. Annually.