Excerpt from Pretty Dancer...

The lights dim to almost nothing. I walk on stage. Unlike the performance before, I have no pretty lights or props. There is nothing on stage with me, but me. The lights will be dimmer with the occasional flashes of brighter light throughout. I won't have anything with me at my audition either so I wanted to stay as true to that as possible. Meredith talked me into adding the light effect for just tonight, trusting her, I didn't question it.
My heart thumps hard inside my chest. All I hear are my own deep breaths filling the darkness around me. I count them silently as I release and inhale.
One,
Two,
Three,
Four,
Soft blue lights come on, mixing with the white, giving my skin a blue hue. I know I have seconds before the music will start and I'm expected to move. To show everyone something remarkable, memorable, different. Personal, even if they'll never know just how personal it is. I'm expected to pull emotions from them as I mirror those same emotions across the stage. Make them feel everything that I feel in that moment, sadness, hurt, struggle, and the moment when I realize that I'm stronger than the demons trying to pull me under. I'm expected to take them on a journey through my recovery. My own struggle to fight my way through the darkness of my past into someplace better, someplace I want to be, someplace where I finally break free of all that once held me down. In that place, I learn that I can not only survive it, but overcome it. And so I do. I dance. Just like I did when I was practicing in the studio, I mimic the girl I see dancing in my head.
The music ends abruptly. I hit my last pose and stop. For a few endless moments in time, all I hear again are my own deep breaths.
One,
Two,
Three,
Four...

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