How I Stopped Feeling Like a Self-Published Author

 
I made the decision to "go indie" with my writing this year. I don't regret this decision in the slightest. But even after releasing The Summoning Fire, a couple short stories, and a some flash fiction collections, I still didn't feel like a Real Author.
 
When I thought about going to a local writers con next year, I felt nervous about mentioning my book to anyone I met. Because it was, you know, self-published. When I showed the printed proof to a local writing group, I got the delusional relative treatment. Obviously, I should be pitied–and I must suck–because I had taken publishing into my own hands.
 
Sometime in November, though, around the time I released The Girl Who Ran With Horses, I started feeling like a Real Author. I didn't even notice the transition. I only spotted the change in my attitude in the last couple weeks.
 
Selling copies of both books helped, as well as accumulating mostly-favorable reviews from people I don't know. But I think the real cause of the change was simple math.
 
That is, I added 1 more novel to my list.
 
The stereotypical self-published author of the 20th century spent years writing his magnum opus. He is the Great American Author of the Great American Novel. He has written a book that simply must be published. He doesn't mind spending the money because the book is that important to him–and to the world. And once he's done this service to humanity, he doesn't write anything else. Why would he? He's already written the most important book ever. Look at how long it took him to finish. It must be important. Look at the rejections from publishers. It must be ahead of its time. And so on.
 
That's not what I was doing. That's not how I was approaching the release of my books. But I still felt the stigma and shame associated with self-publishing.
 
With the release of my second novel, though, I (finally) broke out of that pattern in my mind.
 
With the upcoming release of Demon Candy next month I will break out further. Then still more with the release of another short novel in February. After that, I have even more work that I will be releasing. Plus, I'll be writing more than ever before as I pursue my goal of full-time writing. Full-time indie writing.
 
There are still some lingering bits of self-published shame clinging to my psyche. But I think I should be rid of them before the end of 2011. Consider it another goal for the New Year.
 
-David