The Perks of Being the Neatfreak
Okay, so, sharing a house with my new in-laws wasn't quite what I dreamed of when I imagined getting married. And it's had some challenges. One of the main ones being the fact that clutter seriously detracts from my peace of mind, and my new family is very relaxed about clutter. Meaning, there's a healthy collection of it.
Being me, it drove me crazy that the sink wasn't empty of dirty dishes. And that there was always a stack of towels waiting to be washed. None of which is bad, I'd like to point out. Obviously people live here, and things get dirty. But at first, it seriously bothered me. I'd been dreaming about having my own home for a long time, and being able to arrange things how I wanted, to run a successful household the way I wanted. It wasn't going to happen that way, since there was already an established family here when we moved in.
It took me a while to get used to being the person that cleans up when no one else will. It annoyed me mightily for a good long while, too. But now that I've settled in, I've discovered that there are some perks to this.
1: If no one really cares where stuff goes, you get to pick where it belongs.
If they're okay with just dropping that blanket there, then it's a pretty safe bet they don't care if you fold it up and place it nicely across the back of the couch, either. If they're okay with dropping their shoes in the middle of the floor, then why would they complain about you moving them two feet in one direction, onto a rack, with all the other shoes?
2: You get to decide when/if to do the chores.
If they don't get done every day otherwise, that means you can pick if you do them that day or not. No one's going to complain, because they're used to it not getting done every day anyway. If you want to take a little day off, you can do it without getting nagged at for it.
3: Being the one that cleans up gives you a kind of power.
If you're feeling vengeful that day, you can decide to let them wallow in their own messes. Let them clean it up or deal with it for a while. (Not saying this is a good idea, FYI - you probably shouldn't do that.)You also know where everything is, because you put it there. If they want something, but don't know where it is, they kinda have to ask you.
4: Being the cleaner-upper makes the place you live yours in a way that no one else can lay claim to.
You do the dishes. You keep up with laundry. You clean the kitchen/living room/bathroom. Caring for this place is your responsibility, since it won't get done the way you want otherwise. It gives you a feeling of ownership that you just don't have when someone else cleans it. You scrubbed that counter - your counter. You wiped down that faucet - your faucet. You organized those cabinets, that shelf, cleaned out that refrigerator, rinsed the sink, ran the dishwasher - your blood, sweat, and tears went into this. It's yours, in a unique way.
5: Knowing what you've got and where you've got it saves money.
Instead of buying another box of that cereal, you already know that you have an unopened one in the back of a cabinet. So you don't waste money on something you don't need. You know how much food you have, and what kind, so you know what needs to be eaten up before it goes to waste. There's a frozen chunk of meat in the freezer that's going to get freezer burned if you don't eat it soon, so you don't buy that fresh piece at the store.
6: It makes you feel more at home in a strange place.
It really does. At first, I only hid in the bedroom, because that was the only place that felt like it was mine. I still do that a lot, but since I started taking over care of the bathroom and kitchen, I'm almost as comfortable in those places. I know where things are, I know where they go and what needs to be done, and because I'm spending more time there, I'm more comfortable.
7: And last, but not least - you may be able to guess that I ate the ice cream, but you can't prove it.
Yeah, the level in the carton may be different, but you don't know that I ate it. Why? Because I did the dishes! If there was ever an incriminating bowl and spoon, they've long since been washed, and probably even put away. So, if you eat ice cream, and leave your dishes where you sat, or in the sink, I'll know you ate the ice cream. But you may never know if I did.
Being me, it drove me crazy that the sink wasn't empty of dirty dishes. And that there was always a stack of towels waiting to be washed. None of which is bad, I'd like to point out. Obviously people live here, and things get dirty. But at first, it seriously bothered me. I'd been dreaming about having my own home for a long time, and being able to arrange things how I wanted, to run a successful household the way I wanted. It wasn't going to happen that way, since there was already an established family here when we moved in.
It took me a while to get used to being the person that cleans up when no one else will. It annoyed me mightily for a good long while, too. But now that I've settled in, I've discovered that there are some perks to this.
1: If no one really cares where stuff goes, you get to pick where it belongs.
If they're okay with just dropping that blanket there, then it's a pretty safe bet they don't care if you fold it up and place it nicely across the back of the couch, either. If they're okay with dropping their shoes in the middle of the floor, then why would they complain about you moving them two feet in one direction, onto a rack, with all the other shoes?
2: You get to decide when/if to do the chores.
If they don't get done every day otherwise, that means you can pick if you do them that day or not. No one's going to complain, because they're used to it not getting done every day anyway. If you want to take a little day off, you can do it without getting nagged at for it.
3: Being the one that cleans up gives you a kind of power.
If you're feeling vengeful that day, you can decide to let them wallow in their own messes. Let them clean it up or deal with it for a while. (Not saying this is a good idea, FYI - you probably shouldn't do that.)You also know where everything is, because you put it there. If they want something, but don't know where it is, they kinda have to ask you.
4: Being the cleaner-upper makes the place you live yours in a way that no one else can lay claim to.
You do the dishes. You keep up with laundry. You clean the kitchen/living room/bathroom. Caring for this place is your responsibility, since it won't get done the way you want otherwise. It gives you a feeling of ownership that you just don't have when someone else cleans it. You scrubbed that counter - your counter. You wiped down that faucet - your faucet. You organized those cabinets, that shelf, cleaned out that refrigerator, rinsed the sink, ran the dishwasher - your blood, sweat, and tears went into this. It's yours, in a unique way.
5: Knowing what you've got and where you've got it saves money.
Instead of buying another box of that cereal, you already know that you have an unopened one in the back of a cabinet. So you don't waste money on something you don't need. You know how much food you have, and what kind, so you know what needs to be eaten up before it goes to waste. There's a frozen chunk of meat in the freezer that's going to get freezer burned if you don't eat it soon, so you don't buy that fresh piece at the store.
6: It makes you feel more at home in a strange place.
It really does. At first, I only hid in the bedroom, because that was the only place that felt like it was mine. I still do that a lot, but since I started taking over care of the bathroom and kitchen, I'm almost as comfortable in those places. I know where things are, I know where they go and what needs to be done, and because I'm spending more time there, I'm more comfortable.
7: And last, but not least - you may be able to guess that I ate the ice cream, but you can't prove it.
Yeah, the level in the carton may be different, but you don't know that I ate it. Why? Because I did the dishes! If there was ever an incriminating bowl and spoon, they've long since been washed, and probably even put away. So, if you eat ice cream, and leave your dishes where you sat, or in the sink, I'll know you ate the ice cream. But you may never know if I did.
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