No Plot. Some Discussion of Toilets.
A few years back, my husband and I spent months shopping for a water saving toilet. It was when they first came out (I think) and it cost as much as a small car. We probably used my student loan money to purchase it and are still paying it off, but I digress. After buying our toilet from a boutique toilet shop in a trendy Minneapolis neighborhood that is now closed because no one in their right mind would ever shop there, Harley installed it most of the way. (You’ll know what I mean if you ever visit.) Then, he went into the backyard and squirted the hose into the air on jet setting for approximately three hours. (The dog liked to chase hose water.)
In more recent news, I went to a writing conference this weekend. (Do you like that transition!?)
Oops, one more thing about the toilet. I’ve noticed that places like IKEA and Costco always have water saving toilets. I’m seriously skeptical that anyone reads the directions. I would put good money on the fact that most customers flush in the direction that indicates that they’ve just taken a giant number two instead of using the water-saving “I’m just flushing pee” function. Just a guess. And really, every time someone does that, it’s a vote to colonize Mars after we’ve trashed the Earth. Don’t worry, though, I’m not going to stage a protest outside of any public toilets. I’m too busy writing chick lit. It’s a healthy distraction.
As for the writing conference, which I attended on Saturday, here are the highs and lows.
High #1: Dinner with the We Need Diverse Books panel at the Dancing Genesha (which has a Groupon going on, by the way). I got to meet Renee Ahdieh, someone I know from Twitter. I did some really horrible vlogs for her once upon a time and she still invited me out. That’s the kind of person she is. Her book, Little Miss Evil. I just read the first page to my 8 year old and she officially requested a copy.
High #2: I went to a panel about literary novels with my friend Cristina. The literary folks were super nice, so nice that I totally wanted to go to a BBQ with them after and eat ribs even though I’m trying to eat less meat. Then, during the Q & A after the panel, a guy implied — he didn’t even come out and say it, he only implied in a complimentary sort of way — that the authors on the panel had plots in their books. Holy hell, was that ever the wrong thing to say! Those people were completely insulted by the plot accusation, which was so funny. It made me miss Frasier. Anyway, next time I see them, I’m not going to admit to any plots.
Lows of AWP: I bought too many books, which is a problem because we’re still paying off that toilet, as well as law school and some shoes I never wear.
Now that I’ve neatly circled back to the toilet discussion, I will leave you until next Monday.
Sam
P.S.: If you hated this blog post, I’d just like to go ahead and blame my mother now. In fact, I’ll preemptively blame her for all posts on this website.
