“Did I Just Transubstantiate That Out Loud?”

(Note: Go read Leviticus 19, better known as “The Thirty-Seven Commandments.” It’s very entertaining, especially the naughty bits.)

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Moses: “Next on the list, Lord, Rule Twenty: Should a man be punished for having sex with female slaves?”

God: “Dude! Please! This is going in the Bible! I mean, kids are gonna read this thing!”

Moses: “Trust me, not this part they won’t. And yet, the people desperately need your guidance in such matters, Lord.”

God: “That is so true, Moses. Th...