Choosing To Cheat

I read a great book a couple of years ago by Andy Stanley entitled “Choosing To Cheat”. It was life-changing for me. The premise of the book is that everyone chooses to cheat something. We simply don’t have enough time to accomplish all the things our culture tells us we need to accomplish. You’ve got a career, health, friends, family, church, a relationship with God, a house to maintain, a checkbook to balance and the list goes on and on.

You can’t do it all. So you have to choose to cheat. Everyday I’m cheating someone or something.

So here’s a question – who or what? I don’t have to ask you if you’re cheating. I already know you’re cheating, so l et’s talk about who or what you’re cheating these days.

Whatever it is that you’re cheating, I think it’s important to realize we have this choice. Everyday YOU get to choose what you’re cheating. I can’t blame this on anyone else. I can’t blame this on my job or my boss. This is MY choice.

A few years ago, I came to the realization that I was cheating my family by choosing my job over them – my schedule was overloaded with meetings and speaking engagements, and I realized at one point that I would hardly see them for an entire week! That’s when I realized that I was choosing to cheat my family for a variety of reasons…

I cheat because I get lazy. In this particular case I allowed a bunch of meetings to pile up and did not take the time to realize how this was going to impact my family life. These meetings could have easily been spread out, but instead I approved each and every one of them rather than finding an alternative to cheating my family.

I cheat because it’s easy. While I have plenty of people saying they need my time or they need my presence here or there, my family was quietly sitting at home waiting for me to choose to engage with them. A lot of time we cheat our family simply because we mistakenly think we can.

I cheat because I forget. I forget that home is the one place where I’m irreplaceable. I realized a long time ago that I’m totally replaceable as the pastor of Cross Point Church. If something happened to me tomorrow they could and would go out and find a new senior pastor.

The reality is I’m the only husband my wife has. I’m the only father my kids have. When I’m not there nobody else is doing what God has called me to do in the context of my family. So when I cheat my family they pay a much greater price than if I were to cheat whatever church or organization I might be serving.

I cheat because I’d rather be loved than love. This is a BIG one!  Most of us get quite a few accolades for the hard work we put in at the office. When I work a 15 hour day I often feel a great sense of accomplishment. I love the high-risk decisions, the writing under pressure, and the raw excitement of ministry. In fact, being loved for doing ministry can be exhilarating and addictive. It feeds my ego. This is why so many people end up with an inflated ego and a deflated family. Doesn’t sound like a very good trade off to me.

So let me ask you this – do you know why you’re cheating whomever or whatever you’re cheating?