Instead of Blowing a Gasket – Try Walking!
There are many times in my life, and I’m sure in the lives of others, that things get just too complicated, too annoying, too heated. And like a gasket on a radiator you feel like you’re going to explode.
One of the things I often use to manage my anger is to count to 10 or take a ‘timeout’ and go somewhere for a cooling off period. But, the problem is that counting often doesn’t work if I’m still in the thick of whatever issue has made me mad; and often when I leave the situation to go somewhere else, my anger seems to build instead of go down. If I just go to another room or talk to someone who only eggs me on about how right I am it seems to lead to not only more anger – but other problems as well.
I’ve come to find out that the best way to deal with a situation where I’m about to blow my top is to respectfully ask the other person for a time out and then I go walk somewhere – anywhere. Many studies show that walking will reduce your stress and has a calming effect on your mind and body. I have found that the biggest benefit about walking to relieve painful, negative, or stressful situations is that you get to be alone with your thoughts for a while. This often helps you put the situation into its proper perspective. Once that is done you can develop a rational plan on how you want to deal with the person or event that is causing your anger. Many times I found out through these solitary “cooling off” walks that the person I had to deal with most was ME and how I reacted (or over-reacted).
Another thing you can try if you’re dealing with a situation that causes anger is to invite that person to walk with you. When you sit face-to-face with someone the mood in the room often feels confrontational. You spend way too much time worrying about making the wrong facial expression that you don’t focus on what really matters – the words you or the other person are saying.
But, if you both go outside and walk, side-by-side, the worries about the wrong expression go away and both say things much better and listen even more. And don’t forget that any walk is an action with forward movement. This subconsciously translates into forward progress on the issue at hand as well.
The Chinese characters for walking mean putting one foot in front of the other – and that’s really the best way to deal with any challenges in life.
