Wasted Words – Part 1
I gawked and smirked amazingly at the book I had just suddenly finished, then chuckled and shrugged at the word count I believed I needed when I began so very long ago. Yeah, I know. The shitiest sentence ever and one I hope you never find in your work. That said, you know you’ve used some of those unnecessary words. Don’t lie to me.
I just completed the most painful task a writer can undertake – editing the unnecessary fluff from your manuscript. When we write that first draft, our fingers fly and we don’t (and shouldn’t) stifle our creativity by worrying about word choice at that moment. Look, I just did it. Do I need unnecessary and fluff? Doesn’t one imply the other? Ack! Did I need to use “just” twice in the same paragraph?
Anyway, Part I of this blog post will cover the list of words you should limit in your final manuscript. It’s a compilation of several lists I put together over time, adding to it as I see what other writers suggest. If you haven’t read Chris Roerden’s “Don’t Murder Your Mystery – 24 Fiction-Writing Techniques to Save Your Manuscript from Turning Up DOA”, you should.
If you use Word, click the Find button and type in the word in question. Word will find each instance and you can click and change what you need to change. TIP: When looking for small words that can be part of other words, you need to put quotes around your query. For example, if you are looking for the word “so”, make sure to type a space, so, then another space. Otherwise you’ll get so, south, soldier, etc.
Why is this important? You have such a small window to capture an agent or publisher’s attention – don’t waste time with fluff. Get to the action! An astute reader will pick up on your overused words and it becomes an annoyance. You want them focused on your story and characters, not the particular words you use. Going through this list, I sliced 4,000 words from my draft. Here’s the big hitters from my latest draft of my novel.
Sat down – If someone is sitting, they are going down. Pete sat down in the chair. Change to Pete sat in the chair. Try to eliminate “sat” altogether. I dropped 111 instances down to 33. The same works with stand up and sit down.
That – Bet that you can eliminate the majority of instances that you used it.
Just – Definitely overused, not as much as the word that, but close. Justin just wanted to go to the movies. Change to Justin wanted to go to the movies.
Not – Many times, we use not when we should make the sentence more active. He focused not on the table, but the folders on top of it. Change to He focused on the folders on the table.
Sighing/Sighed – This is a cheat and hard not to use. I had 27 instances of sighing in my draft that I cut down to 1. “I know,” she sighed. Throw in a more active body description that conveys the physical condition that would lead one to believe she would sigh. “I know,” she said, shoulders slumping.
Then – Like “that”, “then” is often unneeded. John ran to the corner and then stopped at the mailbox. Change to John ran to the corner and stopped at the mailbox or John ran to the corner, stopping at the mailbox.
Guffaw, Guffawing, Guffawed – Used to denote laughter. Don’t use this word. Ever. Seriously.
Chuckle, Chuckled, Chuckling – Like guffaw, but not as egregious. Limit to one or two per manuscript.
Nod, Nodded, Nodding – I had 145 instances of someone nodding. My characters must have looked like a bunch of bobblehead dolls. I dropped it down to 22, just the ones I really needed. Jake nodded. “I’ll be there in the morning”. Change to “I’ll be there in the morning,” Jake said.
Shrug, Shrugged, Shrugging. Like nodding, it’s often an overused gesture. Does your character shrugging add to the story or take away from the action? I had 47 instances in my book when I only needed 4.
Looking, Looked – Overused. Change The files you’re looking for have the information to The files have the information. Or He looked at the broken windows on the house. What about the windows? How about The broken windows were like jagged teeth.
About – Do you really need it? Typically used to describe a vague quantity or someone describing an object. Change The bag weighed about twenty pounds to The bag weighed twenty pounds. We don’t care if it was twenty-one or nineteen. Change Billy talked about the exchange to Billy discussed the exchange.
Big, Small, Short, Tall, Fat, Thin – These are vague descriptors that can differ from reader to reader. What’s big to me might not be big to you. Get specific and more creative. Change He was a big man to His crew cut brushed the ceiling of the car as he climbed inside. Change She was thin to Her ribs jutted from her torso.
Hear, Heard – Change to something more active. Jack heard the glass breaking behind him to The glass shattered behind Jack. Another could be He heard the deadbolt click to The deadbolt clicked.
Saw – Like hear or heard, change to something active. The girl saw them approach and ran over to The girl ran over as they approached.
“!” – The dreaded exclamation point. There’s no reason to have an exclamation point. If you stick it at the end of dialog because you feel you need it for emphasis, rewrite stronger dialog.
“ly” – Limit your adverbs. Action shows, adverbs tell. Change dimly lit hallway to dim hallway. Change “You jerk,” Kate said angrily to Kate shoved him in the chest. “You jerk.”
Were, Was, Had – When we tie these in with a verb, we form a passive voice. Example are were going, was turning, had gotten. Try went, turned and got.
Started, Began – If someone starts or begins to do something, they’re doing it. Change He started to walk to the car to He walked to the car. Change She began to sing the song to She sang the song.
These are just a few items for you to search your manuscript and see if you can come up with a better way. I hope this helps tighten your novel.
