Say “I Don’t Know”

One of my daughters likes to explain things.   It inevitably begins with a story:  Person A did this to Person B.  (It’s always much longer than that — like, by an hour.)  The story always ends with “because . . . ”

“So and so doesn’t want to work with those kids because they remind her of her cousins.”

“She adopted a baby because she wants to show she’s a better person than her mother was.”

“They made that rule at school because in that part of the state everyone farms, so they don’t get what it’s like in the city.”

I’m working with her on this — “But you don’t really know what exactly they know.”

“No, but they all farm!”

She’s young.  She doesn’t know.  The problem is, she doesn’t know that she doesn’t know.  As soon as she thinks of an explanation for something, it makes sense to her and she believes it.

Like I said, she’s young, and before she’s much older, I’m going to instill in her the habit of questioning herself.  Or dye trying.  That’s not a typo.  I’m just far more likely to color my hair than sacrifice my life over an annoying quirk.

The point is, though, that we should know what we don’t know.  Really, that body of lack of knowledge encompasses everything we don’t actually know for sure based on a reasonable assessment.  Wait . . . a drew you a chart, so you’ll understand what I mean.

What you actually know. (Dot and pink area not to scale — they are exponentially multiplied in size for visibility).

There are vast universes of knowledge out there, and in the bottom of the ocean, and even in our own cells.  If you are in a room with one other person, no matter how well you know that person, there is a vast amount of inner workings, perspective, experience and wisdom that you have no access to, right across the table.  This is a good thing — an amazing thing, actually.  Never lose your sense of wonder!  And I hope you dance!

But in the business context, which is what I’m focused on here, I hope you also say “I Don’t Know.”  If a client asks you and you don’t know, say, “I don’t know, but I’ll find out.”  If your boss asks you and you don’t know, say “I don’t know, but I’ll find out.”  If your employee asks you and you don’t know, say “I don’t know, but I’ll find out.”  And then find out.

And if you hear something, believe something or suspect something, find out.  If it has potential long-reaching impact, alert the appropriate people, but do it judiciously, including the phrase,

“I don’t know.”