Let's Ask the Dead
My upcoming release, THE DEAD DETECTIVE AGENCY, might have put me in a strange state of mind. I keep wondering what the dead would think of the living at a funeral.
Funeral attendance is required more and more often as a person ages. Here's what I notice about them:
First: The ministers in charge seem to miss the fact that the people are there not for a sermon, but out of respect for the person who died. Instead of acknowledging this, many clergymen and women make the occasion into a bid for conversion. My thought: if attendees are churchgoers, they don't need a second weekly sermon. If they're not, you just emphasized for them why they don't go to church.
The other thing I wonder is if the dead really would enjoy seeing their loved ones publicly exposed in the throes of their grief. It is painful to me to be present as family members suffer. I don't want to watch them being led into the church before and out of the church after, following that dreadful box of dead. Where did we get the idea that grief is somehow resolved by publicity?
So here's my personal declaration. No funeral. When I die, I want a nice dinner for anyone who cares to attend. No wringing the grief out of people by capsulizing my life and telling everyone what a great gal I was. The minister can attend, and he will be allowed to say grace if he can do it in a minute or less. After that, just talk about me while you enjoy the chicken and meatballs. Or don't, as the mood strikes. Enjoy each other's company. That's what a funeral should be for.
Funeral attendance is required more and more often as a person ages. Here's what I notice about them:
First: The ministers in charge seem to miss the fact that the people are there not for a sermon, but out of respect for the person who died. Instead of acknowledging this, many clergymen and women make the occasion into a bid for conversion. My thought: if attendees are churchgoers, they don't need a second weekly sermon. If they're not, you just emphasized for them why they don't go to church.
The other thing I wonder is if the dead really would enjoy seeing their loved ones publicly exposed in the throes of their grief. It is painful to me to be present as family members suffer. I don't want to watch them being led into the church before and out of the church after, following that dreadful box of dead. Where did we get the idea that grief is somehow resolved by publicity?
So here's my personal declaration. No funeral. When I die, I want a nice dinner for anyone who cares to attend. No wringing the grief out of people by capsulizing my life and telling everyone what a great gal I was. The minister can attend, and he will be allowed to say grace if he can do it in a minute or less. After that, just talk about me while you enjoy the chicken and meatballs. Or don't, as the mood strikes. Enjoy each other's company. That's what a funeral should be for.
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