A whiter shade of pale

In high school, my friends peer pressured me into going tanning. They wouldn’t listen to me when I told them, “I don’t tan, I burn.”

My friend goes in for like 40 minutes. She comes out all gold and bronze-y and perfect.


I go in for 15 minutes and come out red as a fucking lobster.
They were quite amused.

Aside from the tanning-doesn’t-happen-for-pale-weirdos thing, what also put me off was the whole sweaty-and-naked-on-a-sheet-of-glass part. It’s a gross feeling by itself, but when you think about all the other greased up nude bodies that have been there before you… Just thinking about it makes me want to dry heave.