The Creative Marriage – Relationships that thrive not only in love but through the bonds of creativity and collaboration.

Thanks to a fellow Tweeter, I came across this very interesting radio show segment called The Creative Marriage that I've decided to muse over and mull on a bit. Bear with me. Now, I don't know about you, but each year, as the holidays embrace me, squeezing me into their tight,not wholly unwanted but often times suffocating, bear hug, I find myself hurtling down into the chasms of self-reflection, evaluation, and observance. In short, I find myself having one of those Bridget Jones moments, leafing through the diary pages, cross-checking what I wanted for myself that year versus what I actually happened, totaling the numbers. Long-term Boyfriend: 1 Weight lost: - (I'm not even going to fill in this number), Jobs lost: 1, New Job: 0, Books Published: 1 etc.- you get the point.

Now, regardless of who we are and whatever items we had on our list for ourselves, apparently getting married is a big one for a lot of people and unless we're living under a rock we cannot ignore the sheer multitudes of marriage proposals and weddings that seem to bust out of the woodwork when the first snowflakes begin to fall. And this year, in the midst of this chaotic whirlpool of congratulations and celebrations, I begin to find myself treading water, wondering, what is it that pushes these couples to that decision? Is it just the excitement and nostalgia of the holidays that tips the scales? That warm, fuzzy feeling we all get that makes everything seem rosy even in the middle of a dead grey winter? The hope of a new year and new life? But, what will make them successful in the rest of their life as a couple? What will cement them together in the unbreakable bond that after years, seems to evade so many married hopefuls?

Many will claim it's the type of person you are, how good of a heart you have, what your personality is like, that opposites attract, etc. etc. So, I wonder, in considering types of people, and as an artist myself (artist being defined as writers, musicians and visual arts creators), do artists really only gel with other artists? Or is it possible to have an explosive combination between an artist and a say scientist or an artist and a businessman? When two very different worlds collide, will they create or destroy? One would think that to have a left brain and a right brain come together, it'd create a whole brain, a connected brain. But it isn't always the case.

I have no right answer.

But, in listening to this radio show, I found myself really thinking "what a wonderful way to pass your life—doing what you love with the person you love." As writers, we hover on the edge of the chasm of solitude. Though we may be social, the craft itself lends to being, and it is, very easy for us to fall into a solitary life, diving into our work, into the worlds we create—drowning, yet refusing to lift our heads above the water to breathe, to open our eyes and see that one person floating above us or swimming next to us, offering a round buoy to which we can cling, to which we can anchor ourselves. Hearing these writers speak of their spouses, with all the human problems they had—their marriages weren't perfect but they were solid, they were bonded, not only by the love they shared for one another, but by the love they shared for the craft. They supported each other, understood both the challenges and the euphoria the work offers, and they could share it. Having someone who inspires you, encourages you to write, and who is willing to read your work—not only to give an opinion of the quality of the work, but most times what is really more important—to share what you did that day. Sharing the advances you made the difficulties you had, how excited you were when you finally seamlessly pieced together dangling scenes or wove in a particularly dynamic subplot.

And as I found myself staring at a half-written page, paused to listen the the guest writers, whose marriages last 53+ years, until the deaths of their partners, I found myself imagining that kind of writing life for myself. Being able to share the thrill and excitement of the 5-, 10-, 15+ pages that I'd written that day with someone who is equally as excited to be that First Reader—to read, edit, suggest and discuss it; the idea was intoxicating, invigorating. It made me want to write, spend the day writing, to be able to show and share with someone, knowing they're expecting it, holding me accountable. Truly, how often do we give up on something, chuck it aside because we think it's boring, too hard, not worth it, sub-quality(and I'm not just talking writing here- relationships, too)? But to have someone at your side, just as involved, just as passionate as you are about it, not willing to let you give up nor you let that person give up—a relationship where there's a mutual inspiration, a cyclical creativity, feeding off each other, energizing each other, truly driving each other to reach your highest potential, to better yourselves—is that not in and of itself the path to enlightenment, to fulfillment, to happiness, and to longevity—both in years that you age, and years that you age together as a couple?

Consider some of the great and passionate creators—Percy & Mary Shelley, Robert Browning & Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Jim and Shannon Butcher (hey, Jim is one of my favorite contemporary writers Sci-Fi writers!)—fostering a relationship that burns brighter through their collaboration and mutual inspiration in the craft of writing.

So, with a union routed not only in love, but in writing and a creative exchange as well, did they have a foundation of understanding, a fundamental connection—a leg up, even with all the wrenches life threw at them, that perhaps writers paired with non-writers/non-readers don't?

Your thoughts?

If you're interested in listening to"The Creative Marriage" radio show segment , it's on the Callie Crossly Show.

Content Copyright 2010. Ami Lovelace. All Rights Reserved.