I'm a simple man who wants simple things.

I want blowjobs while you’re wearing heels but not stockings.
I Iike it when your toes are painted, too, but it isn’t necessary.

I want you to shut up and listen,
and when you’re not doing that,
to call me “Sir”.

I want you to like it, too.
I want it to turn you on,
liking it even though you’re not supposed to.

I want to treat you like a princess
and I want to be treated like the King.

My masculinity is fragile, obviously.
Either that or I’m more in touch with it than ever.

It doesn’t matter.

While the people who think this is important
debate and bitch and are shocked and outraged,
how about you scurry off and get those heels?

I’ll be waiting right here.