27 signs you learned to drink in Finland

27 signs you learned to drink in Finland

1. You plan your Saturdays around the fact that Alko closes at 6 pm.


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2. All nights out must start with a salmarishotti (or 10).


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3. All public holidays are just reasons to gulp down another bottle of bisse, kossu or leiska.

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4. Kossu mixed with anything that you find in your fridge is still your favorite cocktail, even milk works just fine.

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5. Kalsarikännit with friends are forever your favorite party memories.

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6. The weekend is not enough for getting boozed up, so you need your pikkulauantai (little Saturday) on Wednesday nights to get smash-faced.

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7. ‘OPM’ means you bring your own bottle to all parties and you don’t even consider sharing with someone. Because sharing isn’t caring.

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8. You only consume alcohol for the purpose of getting fully wasted, there’s no in-between that you’re going for.

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9. You only talk about your feelings when you’re drunk and you usually forget everything you shared the next day anyway.

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10. When the sun finally shines and the weather is above freezing, it’s mandatory to go get bashed outdoors — terdekeli!

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11. You have the supernatural skill of being able to speak fluent Swedish after 5 beers.

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12. Saunakalja is the only way to relax after a long week at the office.

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13. Alcohol is your solution to all life’s problems – elämä vituiks ja keittoo.

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14. You believe that the people who enjoy a glass of fine wine with every meal are alcoholics — alcohol should be consumed in high volume but on rare occasions.

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15. Your dagen efter always starts with a glass of tasottava to get you through the next day.

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16. ‘Uuteen nousuun’ is your first sentence on a Saturday morning.

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17. You can remember crying after your sixth pear cider as a teenager because ‘nobody loves you.’

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18. Drinking itself is reason enough to host a party.

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19. You know that those who don’t drink are either sick or pregnant — whatever the case may be, nobody likes party poopers.

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20. Alcohol is one of the most important political issues to discuss — kielletään vittu kaikki.

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21. When you turned 18, you started stealing vodka from your parents. You had already been stealing beer from them for years.

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22. The only good thing that ever entered Finland from Russia is vodka.

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23. Meille vai teille?’ (My place or yours?) is the pick-up line that makes your knees go weak.

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24. As the summer gets closer, you take the ferry to Estonia to purchase enough cheap booze to last you through the warmer months.

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25. You are fully aware of the Finnish KKK — kebabin kautta kotiin.

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26. When the above is not enough, it’s time to indulge in some proper darramättö.

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27. If you’re not having a hangover, that party doesn’t count!

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