Why Guilt Trips Don’t Help Writers

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Adolf Hölzel, Der Liebesbrief

If you’re anything like me, you probably read a lot of blogs about writing. You probably read about writing more than you actually do any writing. I’ve noticed a real upswing in posts that either prescribe daily word counts, or daily time periods that must be spent writing. All of them have the same message – you must write, or you’re not a real writer. The line isn’t always that explicit, but it’s still there. Quite frankly, I’m tired of it.

Everyone is busy these days. It’s a strange side effect of a world filled with adverts for yet more time-saving appliances. What I find so unhelpful is the sanctimonious posts telling you to cut down on the amount of TV you watch, or the number of social engagements you have, just to put in a word count. The word “sacrifice” gets bandied about a lot. That’s fair enough if someone genuinely is spending their time on so-called ‘frivolous’ pursuits when they could be writing. I can see why another writer who puts in three hours an evening might not view another writer who doesn’t have time to write but binge watches programmes on Netflix as a serious writer. BUT.

Some of us genuinely do have other commitments that we just can’t put off in favour of a word count.

If your child wants swimming lessons, and you want to take them to the pool every week, then it is not in any way helpful to be told you’re not a “real writer” because you can’t find time to write if you’ve prioritised your child. That’ll just make you feel guilty and resentful, which isn’t a good psychological combination if you want to be creative. If you suffer from some kind of illness which means just sitting up is an effort that you can’t always make, and writing is the least of your worries, then being told you’re no longer a real writer is upsetting and unnecessary. I don’t just write fiction, I’m also working on a PhD, and I can just see my supervisor’s face if I told him I couldn’t meet a deadline because I had fiction to write. Sometimes I’ve put in so many words on my thesis that I just can’t face switching horses and spending another two hours writing fiction. I just need a break. But if I have a break, I’m not a “real writer” because I haven’t been sneezing adjectives and nouns since I woke up. Who exactly do you think you are to tell me I’m not a “real writer” just because I haven’t hit a daily word count?

I think a lot of it comes from two main causes.

Competition

A real sense of competition now accompanies writing. Writing bloggers keep telling us we need to be constantly writing and releasing new titles to satisfy the army of rabid readers who are apparently hooked up to their Kindles 24/7, and if we take a couple of days off from writing because we have other things to do, then we’re not real writers. We might as well give up and let someone else do it, because that other someone obviously wants it more. Bullshit. What happened to being supportive of others? I’ve read blogs by some writers who boast about all of the things they balance while being able to get writing done. Hey, well done to them. But they are not me, and I am not them. Writing is not a ‘one size fits all’ occupation.

Social media

There really is no such thing as privacy now we put our lives online, and I feel like a line has been crossed – if you put your life online, other people feel they have the right to comment on it. What was once your own business now becomes common knowledge, and fair game to be picked apart. I once had someone tell me that if my PhD was “getting in the way” of my writing then I should stop doing it. Sorry, but a) my PhD factors into my long term career plan so it’s actually necessary, b) the chances of me being able to make a full-time living from writing and therefore not needing the PhD are slim to none, and c) who are you to tell me how to spend my time?

Writing should not be a chore

It should not be something that you’re made to feel guilty for not doing enough of. No, that’s not a free pass for you to spend every waking minute doing anything but writing, and then complain you have no time to write, but there are writers who genuinely have other commitments that do have to take priority from time to time, and we’re kind of sick of being told we’re not “real” writers.

If I write, then I’m a writer – I just don’t need to write 3000 words a day in order to qualify.