Why Am I Afraid to Tell You Who I Am?

 

Why Am I Afraid to Tell You Who I Am?

 

“Because, if I tell you who I am, you may not like who I am, and it’s all that I have.”

 

This quote above is directly from the pages of one of my favorite books in the world. The book that inspired this post: Why am I Afraid to Tell You Who I Am? Insights into Personal Growth, by John Powell. This book explores the deepest-rooted fears and blessings we experience in the realm of human relationships. It was written in the ‘60’s and it is still hands-down one of the most prolific guides in understanding the roles we play, the masks we wear and the protective measures we employ to keep our true selves from being “seen” and deeply known by another human-being.

 

I’ve read it at least 10 times and I highly recommend it to anyone on the path of personal growth. The greatest personal growth we experience is not discovered in isolation.

The heart of all profound evolvement, transformative change and soul-level healing comes within the context of our personal relationships.

 

Until we have at least one safe person in the world where we can let down our guard and reveal ourselves, naked and unashamed, just as a little child would stand before a loving parent, we cannot reach our full human growth potential.

 

Relationships are a risk

 

You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back.

– Barbara De Angelis

 

We are not whole when we are hiding and withholding. We will continue to shrink in shame, hiding out in our imaginary head-relationships, disconnecting from authentically being vulnerable and transparent. We will diminish our voice with masks and dull our light by playing self-protective games of avoidance.  Relationships, especially those in the realm of romantic love, require the risk of soul-level-exposure.  Through sharing our hearts, our fears, and our beliefs with another person, we are learning the self.

 

 

Authenticity is POWER- Be Authentic! Be YOU!

 

We cannot think of being acceptable to others until we have first proven acceptable to ourselves.

– Malcolm X

 

“Be authentic! BE You!” – This is the cultural mantra of the self-help movement. Yet, how does one discover the self? We are not fixed, and hardened into one expression of self. We are constantly growing, evolving and changing. “If you thought you knew me yesterday, think again.” I have shared deeply with friends, I’ve sat silently with God, I’ve reflected, I’ve faced and overcome new fears, I’ve experienced new laughter, new pain, new tears. I am not the same person I was yesterday and neither are you. We grow daily. Our authentic self- (what we value, think, believe, love, admire, hate) is constantly expanding as we grow, live and learn. So being authentic is a willingness to share your growth process with vulnerability.

 

 

WHO ARE YOU?

Relationships are ultimately us meeting ourselves through another.

-Susan Winter

Years ago, in a painful season in my marriage to my first husband, I tried to take on the role of “the good, silent and submitted, wife,” as strongly advised by spiritual mentors in our ministry at the time. The pain we were experiencing in our union prompted me in desperation and fear to try and “fix” it. But, altering my core-soul by trying to be something I was not only corrupted the beauty of my heart. The mask I wore choked my voice. The role I attempted to play killed a little of my soul, the fear I internalized of what was expected of me as a “good, silent and submitted wife” tarnished my personal wholeness. If we don’t find the courage to own our voice someone else will attempt to decide it for us.

 

I am a fiercely bold woman!  I am a free-thinker, curious, often times deeply reflective, spiritual and silent, yet other times wild, rowdy and extremely loud! God loves me exactly this way. God designed me thoughtfully in His image. When we find ourselves being anything other of than the truth of who we are, we lose connection to authentic power. We weaken our spiritual link to Source. We diminish God-confidence. We betray ourselves.

 

 

Turn the Volume Way UP!

 

Months ago, I had a dear friend who has witnessed my public and private growth journey say to me: “Shannon, I am so excited for you!” He said it three times, so I finally inquired “why?” He continued, “Watching you from a distance has been like hearing a beautiful song, except the volume has been turned down low. Now, your voice is back on HIGH and we can all experience the glory of the music.”

 

Wow! That blew me away because it’s a powerful truth. God is calling us to rise in boldness and allow the beauty of our personal songs to be heard. We are called to embrace and reveal rather than be ashamed of who we are. Connecting in healthy, and mature relationships where we can reveal the truth of who we are without fear is the easiest way to safely and gradually turn the volume up. March to the beat of your own drums. Turn it up! Let the music play…

 

 

Self-acceptance, paves the way to transparency in relationships

Most of us avoid telling the truth because it’s uncomfortable. We’re afraid of the consequences- making others feel uncomfortable, hurting their feelings or risking their anger. And yet, when we don’t tell the truth, and others don’t tell us the truth, we can’t deal with matters from a basis in reality.

– Jack Canfield

 

So why am I no longer afraid to tell you who I am?  Because I ‘ve accepted my dark and my light, my beauty and my scars, my worth and my wounds, my insecurities and my power, my strength, and my weakness, my courage and my cowardice, my boldness and my shame, my pain and my joy. I have discovered that I am whole, complete and lacking nothing. You are whole, perfected and completed by God’s love. Your honesty is the greatest gift you can give another human being and yourself.

 

Rise and shine, give yourself the profound gift of self-acceptance. Open your heart to reveal the precious layers of your soul to someone worthy of your trust. We need not shrink in fear, because as we reveal our truth to others, we discover the courage to embrace it wholeheartedly ourselves.

 

 

Blessings and much love!

 

Shannon

 

 

P.S.– I will be sharing again this week on the topic of The Confident and Captivating Woman. Our live webinar last week was a tremendous success and there is breakthrough happening NOW in the realm of personal healing, spiritual intuition, relationships, and authentic living. Mark your calendars, for this Wednesday upcoming evening, June 10th at 5:00 PM (West Coast/7:00PM CT/8:00PM East Coast) more reminders coming…JOIN our mailing list by clicking here to receive articles and updates on upcoming trainings.

 

 

P.P.S.  – I have opened my life-coaching calendar to speak with you privately for a complimentary 20-minute Life Reset Session. If you’ve ever considered private coaching work, let’s talk. If you are ready to release old patterns and embrace new, beautiful beginnings in your life. CLICK here and set up a free, 20-minute private session with me this week.

 

 

 

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