i’d love to change the world but i don’t know what to do
…so i leave it up to you…
I’ve been talking with some friends about the increasing belligerence, toxicity, and general shittiness of the Internet lately. It seems like it’s just exploded in a logarithmic curve in the last week or so, and websites I generally enjoy browsing, like Reddit and Fark, and social networks I’ve always liked, like Tumblr and Twitter, seem to be overrun with real dickwagons.
“It’s like somone pushed a button, and unleashed a horde of … angry … children …” I said, the reality dawning on my as the words came out of my mouth.
“Oh god. It’s summer vacation and the children are online, unsupervised, all day.”
I’m going to sound like an old man now, but fuck it: I’m genuinely concerned by the lack of basic empathy and kindness I’m seeing online from the damn kids today. Maybe they’re not like that face to face, and maybe they don’t think that being online is “real”, but the cruelty and bigotry and misogyny that I see blithely spouted all over the place online worries me. Are we letting an entire generation grow up believing that behaving like the whole world is [whatever]chan? Is that healthy? The Internet has always had awful people on it, but the farther away I get from my 20s, the worse and worse it seems.
Maybe it’s because I’m a parent, and I know how hard I worked to help my own children develop empathy and kindness, so I have an observational and confirmation bias … but I’m genuinely starting to feel, for the first time in my entire life, like I don’t want to interact with people online. I don’t mean that in a flouncy, goodbye cruel world I’m leaving this forum forEVAR way, either. I mean it in a “man, what happened to this neighborhood? It used to be so great,” kind of way.
I’m looking at websites and networks and communities that I’ve been part of for close to a decade or more, and I hardly recognize them. Is that because I was just less touchy about people being shits back then? Or is it a real and meaningful change in the culture? For the sake of the damn kids today, I really hope that this is just me feeling touchy and overly-sensitive. Because I’m trying really hard to make the world a better place for this generation, and if the behavior I see online from them is indicative of their norm, I’m not sure it’s worth the effort.
newest »
I've noticed the same trend in online games. Several times it has seemed like I pug into a group of youtube commenters. As much as I love playing mmorpgs the lack of compassion and understanding that it is a game causes a lack of joy for the overall gaming experience.
This is so true. I think that old saying applies that a persons character is who they are when alone. It's sad to think there are so many people who lack basic compassion and kindness.
This is something I run into far too often both online and in the real world. It's odd that research indicates that the millennial generation is one of the generations most engaged with volunteer activities; however, that generation and the one following also seem to be lacking in empathy, courtesy, and basic kindness. I have some background as a college admissions professional, and it's a little daunting and heartbreaking to think that all that "volunteering" is mostly just to get ahead in applications and jobs rather than for the satisfaction of doing some good for someone else (or as the Vlog Brothers would say, decreasing world suck).
Children are assholes when they're alone. Empathy takes time and experience to develop just by it's nature, but it almost always does. Some people are just dicks, from womb to tomb. Kids are assholes online because we haven't established a culture for that kind of thing yet. The kids old enough to be posting on forums and such don't have parents young enough to experience the internet with them and teach them etiquette and respect in this medium.We've reached or are reaching a peak in the curve, but I suspect that as the internet and communication over it becomes more culturally established, it will trend back downward. It's not the end of days.
I like Bailey's comment quite a bit...maybe because I want it to be true. I'm only 8 months removed from my 20s, but it certainly seems as if a large chasm has opened up between myself, and my friends group, and the children who just popped out of school en masse for the summer. But, I like to remind myself, that I was a little shithead for many many years before I developed into the, hopefully, reasonable and kind person I am now. Maybe there's hope for the current little shitheads, too.
I typically like to side with Bailey's even if they are spelled the wrong way....;) But I think the point about children learning to be decent human beings is very valid. Hopefully, things will swing the other way - but in the mean time how many asshole kids do we get to deal with it? Respect is a job most parents are failing hard at. I see kids/teenagers nowadays, and I am shocked with the crap they pull. Given I'm 35, which is that old, but if I did half the crap kids do now - I would have gotten the good ole Red Forman kick in the ass from my father. My kids are still under 5, but I think respect starts to be taught early and most importantly by example.
And maybe there's part of the problem. Lead by example. That seems to be what it is coming down to. The complete and utter lack of respect between people these days is leaving a bad example for the next generation. Maybe it will get better, maybe worse. God help us all.
Glad to see its not just me! Been feeling this way myself. What ever happened to "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all"? I know some feel they can be as mean as they would like while hiding behind their keyboard, but Karma is real and due to bite some soon. Thank you for being our voice in this crazy world.
I've noticed that it depends on where I go on my favorite sites. I used to love the forums on DeviantART, but people have made it so obnoxious that it's no longer fun. Anymore I can't read the comments on a lot of articles that I'm interested in because it's no longer a discussion about the substance of the article but a spew of insults. I've been trying to use all my accounts to promote discussions about various things, but overall online I get ignored.
It's not just you. I hope all those who are rude for no reason grow up and learn how to act without hatred and menace.
What you do is wonderful and I admire you. (Have even meet you a few times). I hope the best for you and I hope those out there who are cruel don't get you too down.
I suspect Bailey is right. Also, if you know Strauss and Howe's generational theory, you'd realize that much of this kind of thing goes in cycles. The Lost Generation was considered a bunch of little shitheads, and indeed it was the first generation that saw such a quick and massive rise in social, political, and economic problems. We are in another era of destabilization and change, although no where near as bad as that earlier era.
BTW that earlier era was a transition from small rural farming communities to mass industrialization and urbanization. It was a social breakdown. It took some generations for people to adapt to those changes and create new social norms. Relevant to the internet generation, it was the Lost Generation that grew up with the problems that was the major force behind dealing with those problems and building a better society.
Being older and a parent are two ways your perception has changed. Frankly I do not think much has changed, mostly your perception.
Bruce wrote: "Being older and a parent are two ways your perception has changed. Frankly I do not think much has changed, mostly your perception."I'm not a parent, but I am growing older. I'd like to think I'm growing wiser as well. That might be wishful thinking. As it seems to me, even as things change, so much does remain the same.
Perception certainly changes. I see how political ideas from the past return and yet people don't recognize them as ideas that have been around for a long time. People have short memories, often forgetting even what the world was like when they were children.
