Hens from Hell
Dragged out of a deep sleep. Bernadette from The Big Bang Theory, the one with the high shrieky voice, was hopping down the aisle like a bunny with a black nose stuck to the middle of her face, a tiara and veil on her head, hands held up like paws. Her voice could have shattered glass. A nightmare? No, just the early morning flight on Monarch airlines from Birmingham to Faro on 29th April.
I closed my eyes again. The shrieks continued. I looked at my watch. It was about four hours since the alarm went off, 2.58am, and about forty minutes since the plane took off at 6.20 am. Sleep on the plane? Forget it. The Hen Party from Hell was just getting into it's swing and it was four rows in front of us.
Why it is necessary to prepare for marriage, which is supposed to be a romantic, meaningful occasion, in which you pledge your true love to the person you have chosen to spend the rest of your life with, by acting like a maniac in public is unfathomable to me.
The tiara and veil were passed round the party, and they all paraded up and down the aisle, convinced that everyone around them was an enthralled by their activities as they were. And it went on and on. Up and down the aisle, playing silly games, shrieking, shouting. The cabin staff brought more champagne. The noise increased.
Eventually I complained to a steward, Michael. He did nothing, and the champagne continued to be supplied. It was like travelling in a badly run pub.
The Captain made an announcement. He could have been telling us that the engines were on fire and he was about to ditch in the sea for all I knew. We couldn't hear him.
I would have asked them to shut up and sit down, but confronting about eight drunken people in a confined space didn't seem to be a good idea.
I complained again on the way off the plane. The steward said that conduct on the plane was the responsibility of all the cabin staff, and in their judgement it was acceptable. Well, there were well over 200 people on that plane, and I'm guessing that all but eight of them did not agree.
I have travelled by plane on many occasions. I have seen people taken on one side by the Captain before a flight when they had spent the waiting time in the Departure Lounge getting loaded, and then getting on the plane quietly. I have heard of planes being diverted to the nearest airport in order to put drunks off. I have never been on a plane where the behaviour of a number of passengers was so unacceptable, and the cabin staff continued to serve alcohol - in damn great bottles.
The surprising thing is, I gather that my experience was by no means a one off. Hen parties often get early morning flights and begin the process of getting plastered as soon after take-off as possible.
What a lovely, romantic way to mark the start of a special meaningful relationship which is to last the rest of your life.
I closed my eyes again. The shrieks continued. I looked at my watch. It was about four hours since the alarm went off, 2.58am, and about forty minutes since the plane took off at 6.20 am. Sleep on the plane? Forget it. The Hen Party from Hell was just getting into it's swing and it was four rows in front of us.
Why it is necessary to prepare for marriage, which is supposed to be a romantic, meaningful occasion, in which you pledge your true love to the person you have chosen to spend the rest of your life with, by acting like a maniac in public is unfathomable to me.
The tiara and veil were passed round the party, and they all paraded up and down the aisle, convinced that everyone around them was an enthralled by their activities as they were. And it went on and on. Up and down the aisle, playing silly games, shrieking, shouting. The cabin staff brought more champagne. The noise increased.
Eventually I complained to a steward, Michael. He did nothing, and the champagne continued to be supplied. It was like travelling in a badly run pub.
The Captain made an announcement. He could have been telling us that the engines were on fire and he was about to ditch in the sea for all I knew. We couldn't hear him.
I would have asked them to shut up and sit down, but confronting about eight drunken people in a confined space didn't seem to be a good idea.
I complained again on the way off the plane. The steward said that conduct on the plane was the responsibility of all the cabin staff, and in their judgement it was acceptable. Well, there were well over 200 people on that plane, and I'm guessing that all but eight of them did not agree.
I have travelled by plane on many occasions. I have seen people taken on one side by the Captain before a flight when they had spent the waiting time in the Departure Lounge getting loaded, and then getting on the plane quietly. I have heard of planes being diverted to the nearest airport in order to put drunks off. I have never been on a plane where the behaviour of a number of passengers was so unacceptable, and the cabin staff continued to serve alcohol - in damn great bottles.
The surprising thing is, I gather that my experience was by no means a one off. Hen parties often get early morning flights and begin the process of getting plastered as soon after take-off as possible.
What a lovely, romantic way to mark the start of a special meaningful relationship which is to last the rest of your life.
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