Why We Don’t Fight Over Finances: 7 Strategies That Have Seriously Helped

So I’m not quite sure how to say this.

How I should put it.

But it goes something like this . . .

Sometimes life doesn’t go as we plan.

And maybe you think I’m talking about you and your plans.

But  I’m not.

I’m talking about us here.

For instance,

We didn’t plan on our daughter having to take Life-Flight out of the wilderness and over to the hospital when she suddenly went into anaphylactic shock.

We didn’t plan on my husband having emergency gallbladder surgery.

Nor did we plan on that same daughter having two more life-and-death ambulance runs back to the hospital.

No, this was definitely NOT what we would have planned.

Oh, and did I mention that we didn’t have medical insurance?

So basically, all of this added up to *ahem . . . . Well, let’s just say it put something of a strain on us.

As in,  FINANCIAL PRESSURE.

Financial Strife

Some of you know what I’m talking about here. Your reasons might not involve unplanned helicopter rides or a gallbladder turning gangrene (Did you even know that was possible??).

But you’ve had your own unexpected, unintended, and certainly undesired circumstances that have weighed you down.

Burdened you both.

It’s even possible that this financial struggle has invaded your marriage and taken it’s toil.

Financial trials are never much fun anyway and nobody really likes to talk about it. I mean, it’s not something you generally throw out at a party, or mention in passing at Bible study. Credit card debt, unmet needs, and unpaid bills are not exactly popular conversation-starters.

Yet it’s one of those “hidden” stresses that affects nearly everything—-even your marriage relationship.

Maybe even especially there.

Financial struggles can easily turn into financial strife. 

So other than winning the state lottery, or coming into a large inheritance . . .

What can a couple do to keep from fighting over finances?

7 Strategies That Have Seriously Helped Us
Determine to face the financial challenges together.

Remind each other that you’re a team—even more than that, in God’s eyes the two of you are as one (Eph. 5:31). So whatever problems or challenges you’re up against, you need to face them together. Get on the same page as much – and as quickly – as possible.

Don’t blame your spouse.

It can be tempting to turn on the other person and accuse them (either loudly or silently) of something they should have done, or should not have done. Resist the impulse to blame and instead, embrace the responsibility of going forward together.

Come up with a plan.

Financial pressures can seem rather overwhelming. Messy, ridiculous, and maybe even impossible. It might be that one or both of you don’t want to look closely at the problem and try to carry on as if it didn’t exist. Instead of ignoring or denying the issues, it’s better to come up with a reasonable, concrete solution.

Decide what you can do without.

Sometimes we get mixed-up with what we don’t want to live without, rather than what we actually can live without. We really can live without a family vacation, a second car, or brand new clothes. We don’t have to eat out and our children are not truly deprived if they’ve never been to Disneyland. (Can you guess how I know all this?