QK Round 1: DEATH BY DOZIER versus A GIRL AND HER SERIAL KILLER
Entry Nickname: Death by DozierTitle: After You DiedWord count: 70KGenre: Young Adult Historical Thriller
Query:
Asher Flemming's starting to think he's haunted, or crazy -- or a murderer. With his luck, he's all three. The night Asher's girlfriend finally said I love you is the night she died. He was there for her murder, he might have even committed it, but whatever buried the details of her death deep in his mind isn't letting a single second free.
17-year old Asher remembers nothing from the night in 1968 his girlfriend was killed. Though the cops found Asher covered in her blood outside a mansion in Florida, he knows there's no way he'd ever hurt or kill anyone. But, the evidence says otherwise, as the only suspect, Asher is convicted and sentenced to five years at theDozier Reform School.
Hidden by the headlines about Martin Luther King Jr., Robert F. Kennedy, The Vietnam War, and the Civil Rights Movement, is the Arthur G. Dozier School for Boys. In the state of Florida, juvenile boys from truants to murderers are hidden away in the sinister Dozier school; those who manage to escape with broken bones are the lucky ones. Asher's afraid he may end up like many of the other students beneath unmarked graves, or worse, they may end up his next victims.
When he wakes up outside, covered in blood with no memory of the days before, he fears he's killed someone else. As Asher's possible body count grows, he knows the answers he needs are trapped within his own mind. Asher's stuck between being a victim or a killer. He needs to prove the murders aren't connected to him or risk losing his sanity and freedom forever.
First 250:
Before January 1st, 1968
If you're anything like me, you never wondered what your girlfriend would look like as a corpse. For the record -- she was just as pretty. Even though I remember nothing else from that night, I remember her face, as beautiful in death as it had been every single day of her life. There were a million things I expected to happen once Avery was my girlfriend, but murder never crossed my mind.
Her long white dress whips behind her as she disappears into the trees. It lashes, like a flag caught in a hurricane. In her wake, she leaves flowers that she wove into her hair, instead of devastation. The hot afternoon sun bears down on us. We've been out here so long, sweat glues my hair to my face. The wind carries the scent of a brush fire on its wings. My heart races as I chase after her, excitement buzzing in my veins.
"Avery?" I call out, between breaths. The words seem to seep out of me, as slow and tired as I am.
"The time to hesitate is through." Her voice is high, beautiful, it rings through the trees. She's been singing The Doors all day, thanks to my t-shirt. Somehow, even though she taunts me with songs, she still manages to remain hidden.
The trees swallow me. In the shade, the temperature drops by a few degrees, but I still feel like I'm being boiled, that's Florida for you, hot enough to smother you even in January.
VERSUS
Entry Nickname: A Girl and Her Serial KillerTitle: The ConfidantWord count: 62kGenre: Young Adult Thriller
Query: 18-year-old Stella Stokes has a secret: the main character in her novels, Gideon, a dashing English serial killer, actually talks to her. He’s been by her side, offering peanut gallery commentary, advice, and affection for every pathetic turn in her adolescent life, and as much as some of the darker suggestions he makes scare her, she’s never been worried to have him. After all, he’s not real; he can’t really kill anyone, nor can he make her do the killing for him.
The summer following high school graduation, Stella and her best friend, supernatural-obsessed, almost-transitioned FTM Quinn, decide to take a few weeks to explore California. However, their first stop at an idyllic beach town isn’t quite as calming as they would’ve hoped: a prank-gone-horribly-wrong leaves Quinn and Stella standing over four dead bodies. The killer? Gideon. As they clean up the mess and beeline out of town as fugitives, Stella is convinced that they’re in terrible danger, but Quinn refuses to accept it. Quinn pulls a timid Stella into a quest to discover just what Gideon is—ghost, demon, byproduct of a mental illness, or something else entirely. And, as the bodies stack up and the authorities close in, Stella has to resist cracking under pressure, or risk caving into Gideon’s deepest desire to see her kill with him.
First 250 words:
"You're barmy if you don't think a paid professional screwing up your haircut is adequate reason to kill them.”
After a solid minute of looking through my drawer for a good bikini, I thrust out the first two semi-matching blue polka dot pieces of water-friendly fabric I see.
"No Gideon, you're barmy or whatever you just said if you think I'm going to murder someone because she cut my hair too short,” I reply. “Besides, aren't you English? It’s say your cut looks great and suffer in silence. Besides, my bob doesn’t look bad.”
I know Gideon's staring at me, like anyone would when engaged in deep conversation about murdering, but I ignore him, dropping my shorts and pulling off my panties.
"Testy today, aren't we? A bit out of character for you.”
I slip on my bikini bottoms and thank the universe that my bikini top is still tied at the top.
"Don't you dare make writer puns with me right now. We're still talking about you wanting me to kill my fr—acquaintances.”
I pull on the bikini top, but Gideon grabs the back straps before I have the chance. As much as Gideon gives me the creeps every other second, I can't deny how good it feels to have his hands press against my skin as he ties the knot.
"Not too tight, is it, poppet?" he whispers in my ear.
I sigh, his smooth, tenor voice my off button. Or on.
“No. Thanks."
Query:
Asher Flemming's starting to think he's haunted, or crazy -- or a murderer. With his luck, he's all three. The night Asher's girlfriend finally said I love you is the night she died. He was there for her murder, he might have even committed it, but whatever buried the details of her death deep in his mind isn't letting a single second free.
17-year old Asher remembers nothing from the night in 1968 his girlfriend was killed. Though the cops found Asher covered in her blood outside a mansion in Florida, he knows there's no way he'd ever hurt or kill anyone. But, the evidence says otherwise, as the only suspect, Asher is convicted and sentenced to five years at theDozier Reform School.
Hidden by the headlines about Martin Luther King Jr., Robert F. Kennedy, The Vietnam War, and the Civil Rights Movement, is the Arthur G. Dozier School for Boys. In the state of Florida, juvenile boys from truants to murderers are hidden away in the sinister Dozier school; those who manage to escape with broken bones are the lucky ones. Asher's afraid he may end up like many of the other students beneath unmarked graves, or worse, they may end up his next victims.
When he wakes up outside, covered in blood with no memory of the days before, he fears he's killed someone else. As Asher's possible body count grows, he knows the answers he needs are trapped within his own mind. Asher's stuck between being a victim or a killer. He needs to prove the murders aren't connected to him or risk losing his sanity and freedom forever.
First 250:
Before January 1st, 1968
If you're anything like me, you never wondered what your girlfriend would look like as a corpse. For the record -- she was just as pretty. Even though I remember nothing else from that night, I remember her face, as beautiful in death as it had been every single day of her life. There were a million things I expected to happen once Avery was my girlfriend, but murder never crossed my mind.
Her long white dress whips behind her as she disappears into the trees. It lashes, like a flag caught in a hurricane. In her wake, she leaves flowers that she wove into her hair, instead of devastation. The hot afternoon sun bears down on us. We've been out here so long, sweat glues my hair to my face. The wind carries the scent of a brush fire on its wings. My heart races as I chase after her, excitement buzzing in my veins.
"Avery?" I call out, between breaths. The words seem to seep out of me, as slow and tired as I am.
"The time to hesitate is through." Her voice is high, beautiful, it rings through the trees. She's been singing The Doors all day, thanks to my t-shirt. Somehow, even though she taunts me with songs, she still manages to remain hidden.
The trees swallow me. In the shade, the temperature drops by a few degrees, but I still feel like I'm being boiled, that's Florida for you, hot enough to smother you even in January.
VERSUS
Entry Nickname: A Girl and Her Serial KillerTitle: The ConfidantWord count: 62kGenre: Young Adult Thriller
Query: 18-year-old Stella Stokes has a secret: the main character in her novels, Gideon, a dashing English serial killer, actually talks to her. He’s been by her side, offering peanut gallery commentary, advice, and affection for every pathetic turn in her adolescent life, and as much as some of the darker suggestions he makes scare her, she’s never been worried to have him. After all, he’s not real; he can’t really kill anyone, nor can he make her do the killing for him.
The summer following high school graduation, Stella and her best friend, supernatural-obsessed, almost-transitioned FTM Quinn, decide to take a few weeks to explore California. However, their first stop at an idyllic beach town isn’t quite as calming as they would’ve hoped: a prank-gone-horribly-wrong leaves Quinn and Stella standing over four dead bodies. The killer? Gideon. As they clean up the mess and beeline out of town as fugitives, Stella is convinced that they’re in terrible danger, but Quinn refuses to accept it. Quinn pulls a timid Stella into a quest to discover just what Gideon is—ghost, demon, byproduct of a mental illness, or something else entirely. And, as the bodies stack up and the authorities close in, Stella has to resist cracking under pressure, or risk caving into Gideon’s deepest desire to see her kill with him.
First 250 words:
"You're barmy if you don't think a paid professional screwing up your haircut is adequate reason to kill them.”
After a solid minute of looking through my drawer for a good bikini, I thrust out the first two semi-matching blue polka dot pieces of water-friendly fabric I see.
"No Gideon, you're barmy or whatever you just said if you think I'm going to murder someone because she cut my hair too short,” I reply. “Besides, aren't you English? It’s say your cut looks great and suffer in silence. Besides, my bob doesn’t look bad.”
I know Gideon's staring at me, like anyone would when engaged in deep conversation about murdering, but I ignore him, dropping my shorts and pulling off my panties.
"Testy today, aren't we? A bit out of character for you.”
I slip on my bikini bottoms and thank the universe that my bikini top is still tied at the top.
"Don't you dare make writer puns with me right now. We're still talking about you wanting me to kill my fr—acquaintances.”
I pull on the bikini top, but Gideon grabs the back straps before I have the chance. As much as Gideon gives me the creeps every other second, I can't deny how good it feels to have his hands press against my skin as he ties the knot.
"Not too tight, is it, poppet?" he whispers in my ear.
I sigh, his smooth, tenor voice my off button. Or on.
“No. Thanks."
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