Committed to Me
Right now the only thing I know for sure is that I am committed to making my existence count. Each day in every way I am becoming stronger, and better at using my words to say what I want and need. it sounds easy, and for some it is, for me it’s not.
I have been in this place a few times over the last ten years and each time I proclaim to all who want to listen that I am who I am. Then usually somehow I lose my voice again, begin ignoring my inner self and the downward slide begins again. Unfortunately before I know it I have forgotten what I was working towards and instead I am putting all my energy into survival and making others happy.
It doesn’t take much to make me happy. An hour at the ocean and I’m smiling! Reading a great book. Writing another thought provoking blog. Perhaps even just a smile or hug from a stranger.
Today I went to the ocean to clear my mind before I went to a group seminar on intuition. It was led by Megan Edge of Psy-chick Studio here in Victoria, BC. I have taken many of her classes, in fact I did my Reiki masters with her a couple years ago. This group of eleven amazing ladies was made up of some of the most intuitive minds I have ever had the privilege of knowing. We discussed and chatted our way through nearly six hours together. This is the link to her current website.
http://www.psy-chick.net/classes/index.htm
I am always awed by the effect these courses have on me. It gets my creative side moving along, often causing upset in my physical body in the process. I think of it as kind of a mental cleanse. As I was working my way through some of my own blocks, my body began aching and a migraine onset. Some will say the course was unrelated to the physical side effect, but I disagree.
Often in times of mental cleansing my body reacts. I am a strong supporter of meditation, walking and yoga. It is my experience that using these methods to clear my mind blocks, often result in physical symptoms like nausea and migraines. Almost as if the negative energy is being cast out of my mind and body.
One of the things we discussed was our life signs and symbols. Things that randomly show up in our lives. Mine are butterflies, seals and circles. Whenever I’m at the ocean I mentally think about the seals and more often than not, they surface for a private show. My butterflies are an important part of my tattoos. They represent moving through the phases of life, like a butterfly out of the cocoon. As well they remind me how short life can be. Circles are everywhere and they remind me each time I see one that it is more harmonious to be together in a circle rather than vying for attention at each end of a line.
As I continue to work on being me, I am reminded that I can only do what I can do, nothing more. And I’m ok with that.
