Hard To Tell

"You're spooking me."
-Christopher Bram
"Surprising Myself", a novel

Twenty-five years ago today

December 18, 1985
Wednesday

It was a hardship waking up this morning. I managed okay.

I telephoned Chad a number of times throughout my work day. Chad told me that he had called Leonard!
Chad admitted, "Leonard said that you were non-intelligent, a kind of an air head and that you lead a boring life."
I couldn't believe my ears.
Per Chad, Leonard asked nonchalantly, "So you and Michael are friends, huh?"
"I guess," Chad replied.
Chad insists that he stuck up for me. I thought that was nice even though his 'I guess' reply left much to be desired.

As far as Leonard, the balding entrepreneur, is concerned--well, I simply feel he is jealous. How can one really define a boring life? As long as one's happy and dynamic throughout one's adventures in life it can be quite wonderful. Life would never be boring. I feel I am enjoying myself. 'Boring' is a Leonard word and one I rarely use. So, who is the boring one?

Chad received his college class schedule for next quarter. His schooling makes me miss school. I am considering going back for an advanced degree. One class per quarter or semester should be easy enough to handle.

I met Chad at his house at around 7PM. I was kind of down. I kept thinking of my bills that seem never ending. I am hoping it will all work out better for me in 1986. I am tempted to cut-up my last CHASE VISA card and become a 'strictly cash only' type. Perhaps that will be a consideration effective January 1st.

I need to find a gift for Paloma! Maybe MACY's Clearance Place will have something original.

Chad and I went to the CHABOT THEATER and saw the films "Target" and "Live and Die in L.A.". The second flick was a low-budget one that showed very badly. It was a fun night (even though we didn't even hold hands). Haha—the hand holding was his idea.
Some old bag in the balcony made us laugh when the film had a brief cut and she yelled, "Hey, what's going on up there?"
I couldn't stop laughing.

We dropped by my bank where I advanced myself two-hundred dollars. We ate at Jack-In-The-Box. After the meal we went to Chad's house. Coincidentally, we met Randy who was arriving at the same moment. It was only a pit-stop for Chad to pick-up a few things. We quickly returned to my place where we discussed Mrs. Fields (aka Debbie Sivyer), Larry, 'us', and the errand of picking-up Chad's sister and brother-in-law tomorrow.


Yesterday night I forgot to mention the Glen Scillian Story, a mystery that unraveled before me. Chad's real birth name was Glen Scillian, named after his father. Chad shared with me his frightening childhood. He was an abused child by his father (physically) and his mother (sexually). I was a bit shocked to learn this being that they're both so religious. His father is a Reverend.
Chad said, "That's why I changed my name a few years ago…to forget and close that part of my life."
He explained how he hated his Dad but they are very loving now. Chad mentioned how his folks made him feel retarded (and actually sent him with a retarded group in one a handicapped bus.
"I really believed I was retarded for a time."


I really feel for Chad and love him so. I was glad he shared that 'hard to tell' part of his life with me. I don't view him any differently. I only know I want him to be a very key part of my life.


Chad and I did some 'nookie' and then fell fast asleep.

A Memorial Note found at Tributes.com:

Glen C. Scillian, Ph.D Jan. 19, 1928 - Feb. 12, 2009 Resident of Hayward Glen went to be with the Lord early Thursday morning, February 12, 2009. He was diagnosed with stage 4 Lymphoma 5 1/2 days prior to his death. He passed away peacefully at home with his children present. He was 81 years old. Glen was a World War II Korea Veteran. He was a Christian minister for 40 years and was Senior Pastor at Bay Hills Community Church in Hayward for 29 years before he retired in 1998. His wife, Merrill, predeceased him in March 2000. He is survived by his daughters Kathy Schiave and Karen Thur, sons Chad Mark Glen and David Scillian, granddaughter Dawn Schiave-Calhoun and great granddaughter Aubree Calhoun. He will be deeply missed. A memorial service will be held Saturday, February 21, 2009 at 11:00 a.m. at Bay Hills Community Church, 25830 Gading Road, Hayward, CA 94544, 510-782-7663. In lieu of flowers, a donation can be made to one of the following organizations: Bay Hills Community Church, write in the check memo "Glen Scillian Memorial Fund" and mail to 25830 Gading Road, Hayward, CA 94544.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul.
-Martin Booth
"The Industry Of Souls", a novel