I get no kick

So my nice old iPhone 5 has been getting crankier and crankier about charging:  you plug it in and nothing happens.  Or it starts and it hangs.  Sometimes, I swear, it goes backward.  Which means it can't be backed up either, as the USB won't talk to bloody iTunes.  Nothing wrong with it when it's charged, no trouble holding a charge—the problem seems to be with the connection not the battery.   Having tried it with two different USB cords turned both ways up, plugged into everything possible—the desktop, the hub, and five or six outlets at home and abroad—and getting nowhere for a week, on Thursday I took it into the phone store.  By then it had flatlined.

The guy cleared the lint out, tested it and shook his head.  He thought there might be a speck of corrosion somewhere in the socket.  Had I gotten it wet?  Not that I know of, unless wiping the screen protector coutns as wet.  As I have an insurance plan, he said I could trade the old phone in for a reconditioned one, which came with an Awful Warning about penalties if Apple thinks I've been skipping it on ponds.

Of course, as soon as the new one came, the old one started responding, if I blew into it sharply.  At least some of the time.  I could back it up all up.

So why am I holding back?

I like iOS 6.   I don't think I can restore that.  I hate changing systems.

And I have a horror of killing my old pocket companion, of wiping its tiny brain.  I know it's just metal, and the contents are what matters.  But it's like putting down a pet.

And I've run out of time.

Nine