My abusive relationship with Mitchell Johnson

It started before I even saw him. The use of the words 'once in a generation' made me keen to know more.

When I first saw him I didn't think much, he was just a dumb kid and he wasn't what I was looking for. Unlike the rest, I never fell for the left arm types; I don't care what arm you use as long as you use it well.

Then he disappeared, and I must admit, I barely gave him a second thought.

When he came back I thought it was a bit weird, but then when he made it to the top level it really annoyed me. This dude had been driving a van for a plumber instead of trying to please me, why would I want him around?

It didn't matter by this point, he was in my life whether I wanted him or not.

This, and his constant wide deliveries, really got to me. Every time Lee or Clark put the pressure on, this young buck with a stupid piercing would come on and let it all off.

Then he got better. He still bowled wide, but he took wickets as well. Without noticing my feelings change, suddenly it became apparent that I really liked him. The two old guys meant very little to me, it was all about Mitchell.

By the time he took South Africa down he was the only one I wanted.

Leading into the Ashes I wasn't worried about too much, just that Mitchell would get injured. I couldn't stand the thought he'd get hurt.

Then it all went wrong. During the ashes all I wanted was for him to get hurt.

That followed with a year of him being vile to me. Really fucken nasty at times. I tried to be nice to him, but when he goads you like that you just can't help yourself.

It was sick and wrong, we were entrapped in hatred, that is how these relationships go, you can't live with each other and you can't kill the other person by drowning them in a soiled toilet.

This went on for the longest time, until I and everyone else were sick of him. Finally, he was gone. The cycle of hate could end.

That wasn't true though, he wasn't really gone. He was still around, just not in front of me, it just seemed like I could move on, find new people, become happy without him.

It just didn't happen that way.

The other men were just as miserable as him, and he was quickly back. Way too quick for me.

Then he does this. Given me so much in one day. I can barely contain myself. While I might hate him for all the shit he brings me, when he is kind, he is very very kind.

The problem is, as good as I feel today, how will I feel in a week, a month, a year.

These moments of bliss wont last. He'll quickly become abusive to me again. It will turn ugly. I'll abuse him. We'll turn to hate and try to make life as painful as possible for each other.

The cycle is set to continue. I speak out because I fear I am not the only one.

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