Musings of an Artist

I don’t update this blog often, although I really should. I’ve thought about writing a novel for years. It’s so simple in theory. You write a few chapters a day and a few weeks later Viola! A novel is ready for the shelves, right? Hahahahaha no.

So I finally got up the guts to do it. I started writing one, then another, then another… before I finally decided which one I wanted to finish and publish. Well on top of writing my novel, I write articles for many different web sites and clients to help pay the bills now. People aren’t exactly sending me money to fund my time writing my novel. Hopefully one day I’ll have a publisher that gives advances. *Fingers crossed*. I suppose while I’m hoping for things, I can hope I’ll make enough money to not need advances. I’m not doing this to get rich. If my book barely sells I’ll write another. I’ll keep writing until I die. Of course, making a lot of money will help because I can spend more time writing, which is what I love.

I’ve also learned why books are so expensive. You might look at a book at the store and think, “Why on earth is it $15? If the author sells 1000 of them, that’s already $15,000 right there.” Nope. Depending on the publisher the author is only seeing about 20-50% of that. The rest is going to publishing fees and the cost of the books themselves. The next time you think a book is expensive, remember that the author put his or her heart and soul into a story and is barely getting anything from your purchase.

I’m not just a writer, I consider myself an artist. I have many artistic hobbies. I love photography. I’m still learning, but I think I do a pretty good job at it. I’m still learning my way around PhotoShop too. I’m going to learn how to make vector images soon. Stock images will only get me so far. I made my own book cover for my debut novel. I even made one other for a book I haven’t started yet. It’s saved for later. :) I enjoy poetry, drawing, and painting. I was a sensitive child. I was told often I had ‘clinical depression’. I think I just feel a lot more than others do. It’s the artist in me. When I’m upset or anxious I write more. Everything that is jumbled up in my mind comes flowing out in the form of a fictional world.

I’m not really sure what the point of this blog post is… I’ve been emotional lately and felt the need write about myself. My book release is getting closer and I’m terrified. I’m scared people won’t read it, or will read it and won’t like it.. This book right now is my life and I want everyone to read it and love it. Getting on the best seller list would make me the happiest person in the world. I know I can’t please everyone. I’m scared about the negative reviews. I think I’m more scared I’ll check weeks after it’s released to see no one even bothered to review it. I’m probably being ridiculous. :) Anyway thanks for listening. I feel like I’m everyone’s shoulder and after a while it gets overwhelming.. so my blog makes the world my shoulder. Wish me luck.. in 2 1/2 months everything might change for me.