lazz:what’s so fucked up is that the world has us thinking we have to prove that we are...

lazz:

what’s so fucked up is that the world has us thinking we have to prove that we are lovable 

i.e. if i show i’m attractive, talented, and self-contained enough i’ll be rewarded with community and adoration

and that is a bottomless pit 

of self-loathing, of striving, of unrequited effort

can you prove you are lovable? 

if not, what makes a person love you and can you encourage it?

do you just wait for it to happen?

we have no other way to conceive of loving each other unless we get return on our investments 

everybody thinks “can i afford this”

cost/benefit analysis

which seems to make sense because people can be so depraved & heartless

part of the problem is that social contact has to be so intentional

maybe if it wasn’t, time would do the work?

maybe the little things revealed in duration wouldn’t be crowded out by bigger personality

i don’t know anything

but i’ve been thinking about “public feelings” of the 2010s and “deficit” and “self-exaggeration in hopes ppl will love you” are some of them 

soliciting additions