POETRY: TWO COAT SETTEE BY PAUL TRISTRAM

For years, I travelled around

kipping upon people’s floors

and crashing upon their settees.

I used to point to the top of my head

then swing my finger down to my feet

and say with a friendly smile

“Have you got this much space

on your ground because it is all

the hospitality that I need?”

In the Wintertime which is basically

half the year in Britain,

I would wear two coats

and when I layed down,

wherever I had ended up that night,

I would remove the top one

and wrap it around my legs,

Du-Duh, instantly warm and toasty.

(I’m quite clever like that!)

I even started to get a cauliflower ear

after awhile from the different heights,

sizes and textures of peoples furniture arms.

Good old days, really, when I look back,

mayhem and madness but lots of fun,

they started calling me ‘Pauly Two Coats’

When I finally got settled with my own

nice warm bed upstairs, for a few months

I still slept on the living room settee under…

well, you’ve guessed it, the same two coats.

Written by Paul Tristram

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