So, I fall in love too easily and have lost count of how many crushes I've had in the past years. How do I stop falling so easily?

Okay, everyone name their weirdest crushes. Annnnd GO.

I had such a thing for Robin Hood, but like. The Disney version. The animated one.  

I share this with you because crushes are super normal and good and important and fun! Even the weird ones. It’s a safe way of expressing feelings and desire and gives us an idea of what we may be looking for in an actual partner. (In my case: Furries? No, probably that he was clever and generous and aces with a bow and arrow. All qualities I like in men.) 

Crushes are a great way to practice intimacy.

However, if all you ever do is crush from afar, it’s likely that you’re using them as a substitute for intimacy. At some point you do need to stop playing pretend, which means you either make a move or move on.

Make a move: Number one requirement for this is, you know, they should be an actual person that you actually know. I find this helps quite a bit. And now you need to decide if you have real feelings or are just infatuated with them. How can you tell? Well, if you know the person, recognize their flaws and still want to be around them anyway, you probably like them as a person and not as an idea. Or just as someone you’d like to bang. (Which is totally fine, btw. Just know what you’re getting into is all I’m saying here.) If you like like them and have genuine lasting feelings and can see some sort of future (and they are not a cartoon) then go for it! Ask them out. Take the chance. Go forth.

Move on: If it’s a fleeting crush, an infatuation, a fantasy and it’s getting in the way try to forget about it. Focus on yourself, your friends and loved ones, do that thing you’ve been meaning to try. Consider if your crushes have something in common. Do they all have certain traits you’re attracted to? Maybe it’s something you feel is lacking in yourself, and can gain without being in a relationship at all. Maybe there are even some unhealthy patterns at play that you can stop cold before dating. Relax, take a breath, let it go. Apply ice cream and romcoms as needed.

I leave you with this:

Actual fox Robin Hood.