5 Reasons I'll Never Move Again
Every time I move, I say the same thing.
I also say I'm never going to move again. I was in my last house nine years, though--the longest I've lived anywhere. Since I'm 44 years old, that tells you I've moved quite a few times.
Earlier this month, I moved again. We still haven't unpacked all the boxes. As I struggle to find "the new normal," I find myself uttering the same words I say with every move: "I'm never moving again." Here are five reasons why.
#5: Flood flashbacks
We went through the 2010 Nashville flood. We had to move all of our belongings out, toss 75 percent of them in the trash, rebuild our house, then move what remained of our belongings back in. That was five years ago. Preparing our old house to sell was a little too much like rebuilding after the flood for my taste. I wonder if I'll ever be able to walk into a Home Depot again without having flashbacks.
#4: Discombobulation
Unless you move down the street, chances are you'll have to relearn everything. Where's the grocery store? Who delivers pizza? When is trash pickup? The weeks it takes to settle into a new routine are fine if you have no full-time job. If you're busy, it's all just a pain in the you-know-what.
#3: Paperwork
"Hi. We're handling your mortgage. Before we can close your loan, we'll need you to send over your last three pay stubs, proof of employment, and a pint of blood."
#2: Selling Is a Pain
If you're buying a house, you're moving out of something. Unless it's your mom's basement (and she's really lenient), that means you have to thoroughly clean it and repair all the little things that have become damaged over time. If you put it on the market while you're still living there, it also means you have to be prepared to leave the house every time someone wants to look at it.
#1: Comcast
Comcast is the only Internet option where I live. They outsource local installation to lazy idiots and outsource their calls to overseas workers who have no idea what's going on. The result is a big mess. I could tell you all the ways they suck, but I'm just going to enjoy finally having Internet and hope I never have to speak to a Comcast rep named "Ryan" in India for the rest of my life.
What was your last move like? Do you think you'll move again soon?
I also say I'm never going to move again. I was in my last house nine years, though--the longest I've lived anywhere. Since I'm 44 years old, that tells you I've moved quite a few times.
Earlier this month, I moved again. We still haven't unpacked all the boxes. As I struggle to find "the new normal," I find myself uttering the same words I say with every move: "I'm never moving again." Here are five reasons why.
#5: Flood flashbacks
We went through the 2010 Nashville flood. We had to move all of our belongings out, toss 75 percent of them in the trash, rebuild our house, then move what remained of our belongings back in. That was five years ago. Preparing our old house to sell was a little too much like rebuilding after the flood for my taste. I wonder if I'll ever be able to walk into a Home Depot again without having flashbacks.
#4: Discombobulation
Unless you move down the street, chances are you'll have to relearn everything. Where's the grocery store? Who delivers pizza? When is trash pickup? The weeks it takes to settle into a new routine are fine if you have no full-time job. If you're busy, it's all just a pain in the you-know-what.
#3: Paperwork
"Hi. We're handling your mortgage. Before we can close your loan, we'll need you to send over your last three pay stubs, proof of employment, and a pint of blood."
#2: Selling Is a Pain
If you're buying a house, you're moving out of something. Unless it's your mom's basement (and she's really lenient), that means you have to thoroughly clean it and repair all the little things that have become damaged over time. If you put it on the market while you're still living there, it also means you have to be prepared to leave the house every time someone wants to look at it.
#1: Comcast
Comcast is the only Internet option where I live. They outsource local installation to lazy idiots and outsource their calls to overseas workers who have no idea what's going on. The result is a big mess. I could tell you all the ways they suck, but I'm just going to enjoy finally having Internet and hope I never have to speak to a Comcast rep named "Ryan" in India for the rest of my life.
What was your last move like? Do you think you'll move again soon?
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