Let The Games Begin
Anyone that has ever read my author page, seen my FB posts, or had a conversation with me knows that I have a lot on my plate. But, that being said- I always find time for meeting guys and dating.
Honestly, since my last real boyfriend I haven't been excited about guys. Sure, I meet up with them, I text guys on Tinder, and I definitely have been on some good first dates- but I'm looking for the spark.
I went on a date a while ago that gave me that- that spark. I could barely breathe, I was full on sweating in his car, and I spent most of the date envisioning his lips on mine. And honestly- it was amazing. It was so exciting to feel that way again. For the first time in a long time, I had hope for the future. I had a feeling that maybe, just maybe, this guy could actually mean something to me in my life. There was possibility.
Of course, I called one of my girlfriends and gabbed about my spot-on first date. When I told her that I had texted him first after the date- she shrieked- as if it was the worst decision I'd ever made.
"You can't do that! He's going to think you're the one that cares more!"
According to her, and everyone that has ever dated, there are rules about dating. Rules that apparently I should follow.
Here are the rules (that I failed to use):
1) Don't call him first
2) Don't text him first
3) If you do text him first- wait for him to double text you before you respond
4) When he does respond to you - wait 24 hours before responding
5) Do not say anything close to "I had fun," "I want to see you again," or "You're the sweetest guy!" Even worse- never say all three in one text.
Once I had deciphered these rules, I realized just how much of a game dating had become.
I was waiting by the phone, quite literally- and yet I was supposed to act like I didn't give a shit. I was supposed to be rude, make him think I didn't like him, and more-over I had to play games. According to everyone I knew, that was the way to win his heart.
When I had gotten home the other night from my date- I was excited. So, I wanted to text him. I wanted to tell him how much fun I had and that I wanted to see him again. Does that make me crazy? Needy? Annoying? Personally, I think that makes me REAL.
So, I did just that. I texted him FIRST (gasp.) And, as if my friends had basically planned this- he didn't respond. I was up for hours, unsure of how I was feeling now, second guessing my outfit choices, and laying in my bed like "WTF Happened?!"
And that's when I realized something.
HE was following the rules. He was without a doubt, trying to act like he didn't care. And if he was playing those games with me- he clearly wasn't the guy for me. If I had to follow five rules to get his attention, why in God's name would I want to be with this guy in the first place?
So, I'm making rules for myself.
1) I'll text, call, double text, and say exactly what I'm feeling whenever I damn-well please.
2) I will not wait by the phone for guys I know will NEVER call me
3) I will not play games
Ladies and Gents- I urge you to do the same. Yes, the rules work- because he's still on my mind. But, what kind of a person wants them to work? Someone who clearly has no respect for you.
Honestly, since my last real boyfriend I haven't been excited about guys. Sure, I meet up with them, I text guys on Tinder, and I definitely have been on some good first dates- but I'm looking for the spark.
I went on a date a while ago that gave me that- that spark. I could barely breathe, I was full on sweating in his car, and I spent most of the date envisioning his lips on mine. And honestly- it was amazing. It was so exciting to feel that way again. For the first time in a long time, I had hope for the future. I had a feeling that maybe, just maybe, this guy could actually mean something to me in my life. There was possibility.
Of course, I called one of my girlfriends and gabbed about my spot-on first date. When I told her that I had texted him first after the date- she shrieked- as if it was the worst decision I'd ever made.
"You can't do that! He's going to think you're the one that cares more!"
According to her, and everyone that has ever dated, there are rules about dating. Rules that apparently I should follow.
Here are the rules (that I failed to use):
1) Don't call him first
2) Don't text him first
3) If you do text him first- wait for him to double text you before you respond
4) When he does respond to you - wait 24 hours before responding
5) Do not say anything close to "I had fun," "I want to see you again," or "You're the sweetest guy!" Even worse- never say all three in one text.
Once I had deciphered these rules, I realized just how much of a game dating had become.
I was waiting by the phone, quite literally- and yet I was supposed to act like I didn't give a shit. I was supposed to be rude, make him think I didn't like him, and more-over I had to play games. According to everyone I knew, that was the way to win his heart.
When I had gotten home the other night from my date- I was excited. So, I wanted to text him. I wanted to tell him how much fun I had and that I wanted to see him again. Does that make me crazy? Needy? Annoying? Personally, I think that makes me REAL.
So, I did just that. I texted him FIRST (gasp.) And, as if my friends had basically planned this- he didn't respond. I was up for hours, unsure of how I was feeling now, second guessing my outfit choices, and laying in my bed like "WTF Happened?!"
And that's when I realized something.
HE was following the rules. He was without a doubt, trying to act like he didn't care. And if he was playing those games with me- he clearly wasn't the guy for me. If I had to follow five rules to get his attention, why in God's name would I want to be with this guy in the first place?
So, I'm making rules for myself.
1) I'll text, call, double text, and say exactly what I'm feeling whenever I damn-well please.
2) I will not wait by the phone for guys I know will NEVER call me
3) I will not play games
Ladies and Gents- I urge you to do the same. Yes, the rules work- because he's still on my mind. But, what kind of a person wants them to work? Someone who clearly has no respect for you.
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