“Lord, I’m On “E”…Can I Get a Refill…Fulfilled?” Blog Series Part 2
*This entry is a part of a continuous series, reading the previous entries will help you follow without missing a beat*
I didn’t have time to promote or have a book release party for either of the books because my health took a dramatic turn for the worst. If you read Girl, Get Empty you will remember I wrote that book while in the hospital. Upon leaving the hospital I was feeling better than ever but it didn’t last long.
Suddenly everything began to change and fall in a domino effect and at first, I tried to stop it to know avail. I lost my job, my home, my car, and my credit. I had to file for disability and move in with my daughter. About seven months passed with absolutely no income while I awaited a disability decision. I became totally dependent on friends and family for my everyday living needs. It felt so strange to be sitting on boxes of books (money) yet not have any money to take care of myself. Believe me it wasn’t for lack of trying! Honey, even while sick I tried to think of and implement every marketing strategy I could think of, read about or was suggested to me but NOTHING would work! Talk about being empty! I was empty of those material things and I was struggling to stay filled with the promises that God had given me. I was struggling to believe the visions that God had allowed me to see so vividly. I began to doubt that I had heard Him clearly when He told me to release the books. I would question God saying stuff like; “Really God? I did what you told me. I’m not understanding.” Yet something inside of me refused to give up. That little voice inside kept telling me, “you heard correct.” What I know is this, God had only given me the pieces I could handle…If he had told me that I would get sicker, I would lose everything, be totally dependent on Him through others, and have to rent rooms; oh yeah I would have said; “I’ll pass Lord!”
See He knows me and He knew I would have opted for the door I already had keys to without question.
During this time, God revealed a bit to me about my own deep rooted self-esteem issues that needed to be uprooted and purged. In my purging I wrote an E-book, Showing MySelf Esteem and gave it away for free in hopes of helping others to attack a key root to a multitude of problems.
In the last two years, I learned so much more about myself and discovered an inner gift of upcycling furniture (I find it to be peaceful & relaxing). This gift has partnered me with a family member and Artist, Delvia Wilder who already had a business idea to sell her custom greeting cards through ArtSoulistic Creations. I loved her work so much; I just wanted to help her administratively to get her business off of the ground. We put our heads together and began formulating the business and even though we haven’t fully launched it yet, it has evolved into home décor, redesigned furniture, one-of-a-kind pillows and much more. At this point my contribution to the business is the furniture, ideas and administrative support.
As I write this blog…I have been officially declared disabled. I have rented a room from two different friends before moving into my own studio apartment living very scarcely off of a fixed income but I am re-writing my story. This journey is chock full of beautiful lessons, life keys and letting go. I have screamed on more than one occasion, “Lord, I’m On “E”…Can I Get a Refill Fulfilled?” Hence, the title of this blog series. I know I am not the only one who has felt or feels this way. Initially I wanted to be refilled but God has been showing me to be careful what I ask for knowing that I will receive it. See, to be refilled simply means to be filled again. Oh, but to be fulfilled means to make full; to meet the requirements of; to measure up to (satisfy); to convert into reality and last but not least, to develop the full potentialities of! Yessssss! I AM being fulfilled!
By the time you and I finish this blog series, our past will no longer control our future. We will be able to look back over our past and pull the resources from it. We will no longer be counted out but we will be on the move and we will not only say with power and authority, “MOVE MOUNTAIN MOVE” but we will watch it move!
I am coming to the realization through many trials and tribulations that I have the power to move mountains. Me, little ole me possess a Power so great that it can no longer be contained! God is showing me that if I just TRUST THE PROCESS, I can truly do anything through GOD and so can you!
Are you a victim or a survivor? After you finish this blog series you will be able to answer, NEITHER to this question. Your answer will confidently be: I AM MORE THAN A CONQUEROR!
Oftentimes after sharing my story I am asked, “How did you make it through all of that? How come you don’t look like what you’ve been through?” Well, you are reading the answer via this blog series as a direct result of me re-writing my story as I am living it. This blog series is therapeutic healing for me…its part confession, part diary, and ALL conversations with the God/Dess in me. I ask that you follow this blog series and stick with me on this journey as I share the keys I am learning to fulfillment:
Rescue the “Little Girl Lost”
Take Responsibility
Declare Enough is Enough
Tap Into Your Inner Power
Move the Mountain
Re-Write Your Story
L.I.V.E. (Live In Victory Everyday)
Everyone has a story to tell and although not everyone is called to share their story with the world, we are all called to share it with at least one person in an effort to help someone else transition from victim through survivor to being more than a conqueror. We tell our story in so many ways…through song, poetry, art, writing, dancing, loving, walking, exercising, teaching, preaching, and evangelizing. I’m sure you get the picture…I will sum it all up by concluding that we tell our story simply by LIVING!
God has called us to spread the Gospel and guess what? That gospel is your very story. Stop keeping it to yourself. What good is it doing you? If anything, it is keeping you captive to your past. The beauty of what I am going to share with you is that you can share your story as you are re-writing it! Let God guide you on whom to share it, how to share it, but by all means, set yourself free and L.I.V.E. I can guarantee you a few things will begin to happen:
You will become more than a conqueror living out your purpose
You will attract others who are doing the same
You will help someone else to that same freedom and that’s a gift that keeps on giving.
We all benefit from purpose-driven, purpose-living people. I challenge you, no I dare you to read my story, experience your life changing encounter and join me in becoming More Than Conquerors! It’s not just a lifestyle, it’s a mindset!
Filed under: Life, Spiritual
