I used to have these computer speakers.

There was a box woofer and two smaller ones, all attached to each other with a jumble of fucking annoying ass wires.

When I converted to a laptop, I had to keep hauling them all over the house. If I wanted to listen to music in the kitchen, I had to haul them there. If I wanted to listen to music in my office, I had to haul them there.

What a pain in the ass. Gathering them all up awkwardly with all their attached jumble of fucking annoying ass wires. Jesus.

Every time I’d drop one, too. BOOM! Every time one of the little speakers hit the floor. Every time. I was careful, too. I’d press them against my chest like a little baby, use my chin, the works. Still: BOOM!

It got so I expected it. No matter how careful I was, if I moved the speakers to a different room, one of them was gonna hit the floor. No matter what. I started to not care as much. After all, the speakers had won. Sometimes, I would even throw one of the speakers to the floor and drag it to my destination by its stupid attached annoying ass wire.

One time, after throwing one of the little speakers to the floor and proceeding to drag it, I dropped the other one. My face reddened with rage. I picked both of them up and, along with the box woofer, heaved the whole mess to the floor. I picked them all up again, and again heaved them against the floor. I did this over and over until my computer speakers were in a million scattered pieces.

Then I went and got my headphones, relieved that I finally solved a modern problem.