Excerpt - Love Means... No Fear
Blurb:
Raine Baumer is living the party life in Chicago, indulging in short relationships with little emotional commitment. But after he's severely injured in a gay bashing, close friend Geoff arrives to take him to the country to recuperate. There Geoff and his partner Eli treat him like part of the family, and Raine meets Jonah, Eli’s brother, who is exploring life in the world outside his Amish community.
Jonah and Raine’s mutual attraction draws them together, but they may not have a chance to explore it. Jonah’s father is making ultimatums, and the police believe that the attack on Raine may not have been as random as it initially appeared. Raine and Jonah will have to face what they fear most in order to have any chance at a life together.
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Excerpt:
“Are you going tonight?” a bright voice called from his doorway, and Raine looked up from his computer, returning a grin from Jeremy, one of his young and enthusiastic managers. God, he loved working in a gay office. The best thing he’d ever done was leave that stuffy, big corporation and take the job in a fabric house. Most of the employees were gay; hell, the owners were gay. It made the office relaxed, and there was always plenty of scenery. “We’re all marching together in the parade.” The kid had so much energy, and Raine found himself wondering what he’d be like in bed. Maybe he could put some of that youthful energy to good use. “Scotty even made a banner.” Jeremy’s arms swished above his head. “It says ‘Gay Accountants… Don’t be Accrual.’ Get it? There’s an Elvis theme.” Jeremy’s smile brightened even further.
He didn’t want to rain on the kid’s parade, but that slogan was bad, really bad, but Raine couldn’t help laughing anyway. “Yes, I’m coming.” Raine tried to concentrate on the last entries he needed to make. “I just have to finish these and”—he clicked a few buttons before pressing save—“there, all done. Let’s go have some fun.” Turning off his computer, he pushed back his chair and stood up, walking toward his office door.
“I love Gay Pride week.” Jeremy practically bounced as they walked to where the other boys were congregating, getting ready to join the party already in full swing. “I can’t believe the parade runs right in front of the building. That’s so cool!”
Approaching the group, he saw that some of his coworkers had already changed for the fun. “What are you supposed to be?” Raine asked as he approached one of the boys in full costume.
“I’m the young Elvis,” Dexter answered, “and Harvey’s going to be the old Elvis.” Raine saw the other man approaching in a fat suit, huge belt, full sequined pants, shirt, and even a cape.
“They were going to try to get a coffin for the dead Elvis,” Davis interjected through chuckles, “but we all agreed that was too tacky, even for us.” The group laughed and began heading toward the elevators. “But we did get one of the guys on Accounts Payable to go as Army Elvis.” Good God, leave it to a bunch of gay boys to milk a theme, any theme, nearly to death.
As the elevator door opened, their small group was indeed joined by Army Elvis, Hawaiian Elvis, and even Teddy Bear Elvis in a full bear suit, sans head—thank God—complete with Elvis pants, belt, and a paddle that read, “Don’t be Cruel.” “Don’t ask, you don’t want to know,” Jeremy quipped from next to him as they all piled into the elevator for the ride to the lobby.
Stepping out, Raine watched the looks from the other office workers in their business suits and ties. Heads shook, hands covered mouths, and a few guffaws greeted them as they filed through the lobby and out onto the street. “You guys go join the other Elvi and have fun,” Raine called as they walked down the crowded sidewalk toward where the parade was supposed to start.
“You’re not marching?” Jeremy looked up at him, lower lip jutting out on an adorable pout. “I was hoping we could march together.” Well, damn, that went way beyond a flirt. Hell, it was nearly an engraved invitation, and he very nearly accepted it. Hell, he would have without hesitation even just a few months ago.
“No, you go ahead with the others if you want. I’m supposed to meet some friends and we’re going to watch the parade. You’re welcome to join us if you’d like, though.” Raine watched as Jeremy looked up at him and then over at the other guys, trying to decide what he wanted to do. “It’s okay. Go on and have fun.” Raine smiled, and Jeremy bounded off after the Elvi. Raine watched him go for a second before continuing down the street.
His phone playing “Celebration” stopped him, and he pulled it out of his pocket, checking the display. “Hey, Geoff.”
“Good God, where are you?”
“It’s Pride Weekend, and I’m on my way to meet some friends for the parade. You know, you and Eli should come down next year. It’d be a blast.”
He heard Geoff’s laughter ripple through the line. “Can you see Eli at Gay Pride?”
Raine thought for a split second before laughing. “No, I guess not, although this year they actually have horses.”
“Real ones or just two guys feeling each other up under a horse blanket?”
“Actually both.” Raine’s laughter increased, and he continued down the street, spying his friends and waving to let them know he’d seen them. “But there are real horses, some sort of gay polo team or something. But seriously, you two should come for a visit, I’d love to see you guys.”
“We will,” Geoff responded, “and you know you can always come here when you need some peace and quiet or feel the need to shovel some shit.”
“And you’ve got plenty of that.” Raine could hear what sounded like a band starting to play. “I’ll let you go, the parade’s starting, but it was great to hear from you, and I’ll call you next week. We can figure out a good time for a visit.”
“Talk to you soon.” The line went quiet, and Raine closed the phone, shoving it into his pocket before joining his friends at the table, lifting the beer they’d already ordered for him, toasting friendship, pride, and all the guys they expected Raine to do over the next two days. The others were all in long-term relationships, so they lived vicariously through Raine, as he was the only “free agent” in the group. God, he loved this weekend. Taking a gulp of the beer to wet his throat, he joined the conversation, the five of them talking at lightning speed.
As the first float passed, the conversation died down, and it became all about the beads. While this wasn’t Mardi Gras in New Orleans, it was definitely the gay substitute. Put twenty thousand gay men in a confined space, throw sparkly beads at them, mix with alcohol, and you had the recipe for near pandemonium. People on the floats threw handfuls of beads into the crowds, and, of course, the less you wore, the more beads you got.
“Look over there,” Don said as he pointed to what looked like a frat boy in a polo shirt and chino shorts. Sure enough, the shirt came off, revealing a toned chest, and then the pants dropped, giving the world a look at nearly everything the good Lord gave him. “Now that’s a view.”
His partner, Chuck, swatted him on the arm. “Keep your eyes in your head.”
“I can look. After all, he’s showing it off for everybody.” Don mock pouted and then put his arm around the shoulder of his lover of more than thirty years.
Chuck shook his head indulgently. “Go get yourself some beads.” Chuck shooed his lover from the table. “Just don’t you start thinking you can drop your pants.”
“Hey!” Don responded quickly. “I wonder if they’ll give me beads to keep my pants on.”
“Now that’s a winner!” Chuck joked as he held up his glass. Grabbing Raine by the elbow, Don dragged them both into the crowd. The man was a fiend for the damned beads, grabbing and clawing his way to the front, snatching them out of the air. The man might have been nearing sixty, but he was tall and had great reflexes. The little boys didn’t stand a chance. The parade continued, with the accounting Elvi passing in the middle of it, waving and tossing a storm of beads at them as they passed. By the end of the parade, they both had what seemed like hundreds of strands of beads around their necks. Returning to the table, laughing and joking, they rejoined the others, sharing their bounty and another round of drinks.
“We should get going,” Bob commented as he and his partner Charlie stood up, “now that the parade’s over, the kids get down to the serious drinking, and we don’t need to be here for that.”
Chuck and Don stood up as well, and everyone exchanged hugs before wandering through the milling crowd back toward their cars.
Chicago evenings in June could range from oven-baked to teeth-chattering, but tonight was absolutely perfect. Unsure what he wanted to do, Raine wandered along the sidewalk, occasionally catching the eye of someone. Twice, he really thought seriously about pursuing someone, but decided against it, at least for now. A few times, he saw the guys from work, still in costume, having a blast. He knew he could join them, but he felt a little off.
After midnight, as Raine found himself walking back toward his car, a crowd of half-drunk, half-dressed boys made their way down the sidewalk, singing at the tops of their lungs, carrying anyone and everyone along with them. In order to avoid the mass of drunken humanity, Raine stepped out of the way between two clubs and decided to take a quick shortcut through the side street.
Raine could see his car, parked in the perfect metered spot—thank you, parking Karma—when he felt someone yank on the strands of beads still around his neck. Stumbling backward, choking and coughing, he tried to stay on his feet as he was pulled between two of the shuttered stores. “What’s going—?”
Before he could say anything more, a fist landed on his side, shooting pain down his hip and up almost to his arm. Before Raine could think, let alone move, rough hands spun him around and a fist sank hard into his stomach. Falling to the ground, he began to retch, throwing up on the pavement as a foot connected with his side. “Fucking faggots, when are they ever gonna learn!” Another kick landed, the force enough to lift him off the ground. He landed with a thud, and Raine rolled onto the pavement, protecting his face with his arms and hands, doing his best to roll into a ball as he continued retching and gasping for breath.
“Leave him!” someone yelled, and another kick landed on his arm, and Raine heard something snap, pain building on pain.
Footsteps hurried away. “Remember, faggot, you only got what you deserved!” Raine felt his hand slide back slightly, and he saw his attacker squat down, a switchblade appearing from nowhere.
“People are coming!” the other voice called again, and Raine let his head rest on the pavement. It hurt too much to hold it up. He expected the feel the knife at any second and braced for it. Instead, a hand fished into his pocket, and then he heard footsteps running away, and Raine let his breath slip from his lungs. Gasping to breathe again, he lay there, letting the cool of the concrete soak into his body; at least it dulled some of the pain.
Shadows passed in front of him, and Raine reached out to try to grab them, but they slipped through his fingers. He could barely get air into his lungs and talking was out of the question, so he lay there and waited.
Hearing footsteps again, Raine’s muscles tensed, and pain shot through him from head to foot. Expecting another kick, he jumped when a hand touched his shoulders. “Somebody call an ambulance!” More footsteps, and then a voice near his face said, “Help’s on the way.” Something soft slipped over him and some of the chill abated. Finally closing his eyes, he let the threatening blackness take him.
