Good Grief! What I Learned From Loss: How a TEDx Talk Brought My Ideas to Life by Memoir Author Elaine Mansfield
Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler with Elaine Mansfield/@elainemansfiel7
“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” Rumi
Grief is a universal experience which we all have to face. It is my pleasure to introduce Memoir Author Elaine Mansfield who speaks from her own place of grief-the death of her beloved husband Vic–to teach us all that “love and grief are a package deal”. Elaine and I met online and although I do not remember whether it was on Shirley Showalter‘s blog or Marian Beaman’s blog, I do know that I instantly connected with her message. When I watched her TEDx talk (below) at the Corning Museum(my hometown), I knew I wanted to feature her and her powerful message. I also wanted to hear about her experience being asked to do a TEDx talk and what she learned in the process.
Elaine’s memoir, Leaning into Love: A Spiritual Journey Through Grief, is a beautiful tribute to the love she and her husband Vic shared as well as a tribute to her journey of healing after such a devastating loss.
My reviews can be found on Amazon, Goodreads, Shelfari, LibraryThings, and Riffle.
Please join me in welcoming Elaine~
Elaine and Willow
A TEDx Talk Brought My Ideas to LIfe
My heart thumped. My belly knotted. A black microphone was attached to my head and my hearing aids sent out whines and screeches in response to this amplified world. Standing backstage in the dark, I was afraid I’d forget everything I’d spent months creating. Then they called my name.
My red shoes and I walked across the darkened Corning Museum of Glass stage. Since my topic was sacred, I created a simple altar. Then, without notes or prompts, I gave the talk of my life to over two hundred people. I felt naked and vulnerable. When I made eye contact with the audience, I saw their quiet tears.
Corning Museum of Glass
I’m an unknown author of a new book, Leaning into Love: A Spiritual Journey through Grief. I’ve blogged for 2 ½ years, submitted articles, and built connections on Facebook, LinkedIn, and Twitter. There are thousands of authors sharing good messages, but my TEDx talk helped me reach my audience. And the message spreads with 300-400 new viewers each week.
The price was weeks and months of hard work. Has it improved book sales? Probably, I can’t be sure. Does it help spread the message of my book and my heart? Yes.
I received a red-lettered invitation from TEDx Chemung River in May 2014. I’d applied a month before and been interviewed. I wanted to talk about what I’d learned from grief and tie the talk to Leaning into Love. As I prepared a script, I scolded myself for taking on one more thing I didn’t know how to do.
I read books and blogs about preparing a TED talk and watched other people’s talks. TEDx organizers provided a coach, rehearsals, and deadlines for abstracts, outlines, and audiovisuals. Friends who are theater directors, public speakers, story tellers, or good listeners listened and gave me feedback, some many times.
I tackled this like a writer and wrote a monologue, but you can’t read a TEDx talk. You have to choose an idea that matters and share it from the heart. I talked about facing grief and learning from it, but how could I convince people who would rather not think about loss?
I distilled three lessons.
I am not in charge.
We are told our experience is created by our attitude. “Be positive. Make life what you want it to be.” It’s true from a limited perspective, but I learned I am not in charge when it comes to natural catastrophe, a terrible diagnosis, or death. My only choice is in my response.
Love and grief are a package deal. {Click to Tweet}
Elaine and Vic
We learn this from great books and movies, but who wants to remember? When we’re separated from someone we love, we grieve. When we lose something we hoped for or counted on, we grieve.
If we love anything, we will grieve when we lose it.{Click to Tweet}
Ritual soothes and comforts more than I could have imagined.
Some of us take flowers to the cemetery or take walks in places we shared with the person we lost. Some sing hymns or light candles. Some keep a journal. Writing became a helpful daily ritual during my husband’s illness. After his death, my journals became the doorway to the next phase of my life as a writer and bereavement worker.
The TEDx talk and my book joined hands to help me share the message that grief is a healthy normal emotion and an important teacher about what matters in life.
In the end, grief is simply another face of love. {Click to tweet}
Family
Author Bio:
Elaine Mansfield’s book Leaning into Love: A Spiritual Journey through Grief was published by Larson Publications (October 2014). The book is available at the Larson Publications link, at Amazon (paperback and kindle), Barnes & Noble, and independent sellers. Elaine writes from a spiritual perspective that reflects over forty years as a student of philosophy, Buddhism, Jungian psychology, mythology, and meditation. Elaine gave a TEDx talk called “Good Grief! What I Learned from Loss” on November 8, 2014 with TEDx ChemungRiver at Corning Museum of Glass in Corning, NY.
After a career as a health counselor and writer, Elaine’s work focused on bereavement and loss after her husband’s death in 2008. Elaine facilitates bereavement support groups at Hospicare and Palliative Care Services in Ithaca, NY and writes for the Hospicare newsletter and website. She also writes a weekly blog about the adventures and lessons of life, love, and loss, leads workshops, and lectures on bereavement topics. Her articles have been published in The Healing Muse, Open to Hope, Shambhala Sunspace, KirstyTV, Alzheimers.net, GriefHealing, and elephantjournal.
Elaine and her husband Vic became students of the Dalai Lama on his first visit to the United States in 1979. Six weeks before his death, Vic taught with the Dalai Lama in a science and religion colloquium. The Dalai Lama wrote an introduction for Vic’s last book Tibetan Buddhism and Modern Physics: Toward a Union of Love and Knowledge.
Follow this link to Elaine’s website. Follow this link to Elaine’s FB author page or find her on Twitter at @ElaineMansfiel7
Links to purchase:
Good Grief! What I Learned From Loss: A TEDx Talk by Elaine Mansfield:
Thank you Elaine for sharing the lessons learned from your own grief. The notion that “grief is a wound but also an opportunity” will serve as a message of hope and consolation not only for many women who lose spouses but for anyone who has to let go of a loved one. Thank you also for showing us behind the scenes of a TEDx talk and the steps you took to make yours a successful one. Congratulations on an inspiring and powerful talk!
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How about you? What lessons has grief taught you? Do you ever envision yourself being on the stage for a TEDx talk?
Elaine has graciously offered to give away one copy of her memoir to a commenter whose name will be selected in a random drawing.
We’d love to hear from you. Please leave your comments below~
Next Post:
Monday, 4/27/15: “Have Memoir, Will Travel: Promoting My Memoir’s Message Through Public Speaking”
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