Our Children Are Not Perfect (except on Facebook)...and Neither Are My Characters

My oldest turned 18 yesterday! He is basically an adult and it blows my mind that he is this old. Didn't I just drop him off for preschool and hope he didn't cry the whole time? By the time child #3 went, she was begging to go to school and I was happy to take her so she'd be more stimulated and with a group of kids her own age.

I have three teenagers and love all of them. They are all my favorites, they are all good students, two play musical instruments and they aren't assholes (which was my main role as a parent...raise a kid to not be an asshole) but they aren't perfect. So, why do people in their status messages on Facebook make their children seem faultless and saintlike? Are they afraid people will judge them? Are they trying to prove something to someone else who may be in their FB circle?

My kids argue. One son is in Mock Trial and will argue until you give in, so I have learned to pick my battles with him, when to be quiet and when to tell him *enough* he crossed the line. He loves to leave his wet towels on the floor, he curses even after a lecture about it being a lazy language. Brushing teeth? What is that? Another son doesn't see the mess in his room, doesn't think a brush is needed for his hair and has the tendency to be OCD about the time. It's not "almost 2pm, it's 1:58." My daughter can find the loophole in just about anything and should be a lawyer. She arranges her bookshelves 'just so' and will tell me to ask her to do something directly (not to say "it'd be nice if you walked the dog") but when I do I get excuses as to why she always does it so can't one of her brother's walk the dog? Also, is it a genetic trait that the boys don't think to change their sheets?

Why do we paint our children as perfect? Part of me thinks it is because they will be able to see your post on FB (or a friend's mom will tell someone and it'll get back to said child) and we don't want to ruin their self esteem. Guess what? They know the things I listed above! We talk about it, argue about it and I nag about it on a daily basis. I'm not perfect either and they let me know that; we are only human.

I want my characters in my books to be perfect as they are kind of like my children. Yet, I give them each a fault that carries through the book. It may be insecurity, a messy room, foul language...something that whomever may read the book, when it comes out, can identify with themselves or for someone else.

Any thoughts on why people portray their children, or even their lives, as perfect on Facebook? (I have had two friends cancel their FB accounts because they felt bad about their own lives. They were getting jealous others had more money and were bragging about their latest expensive trip or purchase. )
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Published on May 07, 2015 05:13
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