Declarative Statements

1. While I am flattered by the invites I've been getting, I don't know what LinkedIn is, and honestly, I don't want to know. I have too many online distractions as it is.

2. If you bop in here, or on my Twitter account, and leave an expletive-filled, nonsense-riddled message, especially one with a mysterious link, I will delete and ban you.

The grumpy otter had spoken.