Something Bothering You?

Ever had one of those days when you just can’t shake whatever it is that’s intruding on your thoughts… constantly. Maybe you got a call that said your projects been put on hold. Maybe your kid’s teacher wants to set up a meeting to discuss how Kidlet is doing (or not doing). Or maybe your mother-in-law made some comment about your stuffing.

“Just don’t think about it,” is easy to say. Doing is a whole other matter. In fact research shows that when people are told not to think about something, that something is even harder to get off our minds. The constant rehashing is called “rumination” and not only is it damn unpleasant, it’s a great way to ruin your day.

Wouldn’t you love it if you could beat back those thoughts? No, I’m not going tell you not to think about them. Here are some things that might work:

Visualize details: Whether you imagine yourself shopping at the grocery store, in the craft store picking out wool, or in a book store hunting for your next great read, picture the items on the shelf. See them.

Anything that requires concentration will work. Think about the order of the songs on your workout playlist. Name the songs. Or list what’s on your bedside table. Or try to name the order of the spices on your spice rack. This isn’t something you have to struggle with. Thinking about details for 30 seconds to a minute is enough to break the rumination cycle.

Each time a negative thought tries sto ruin your day, visualize details. If you have to do it 10 times an hour, so be it. With practice you’ll get better and better at training your brain to change direction when negative thoughts threaten to mess you up.

Hang out with positive peeps: Notre Dame researchers found college students pick up rumination-like behaviors from their roommates. When you interact with people who are always worrying you could find yourself mirroring that worry (or anger, or stress, or sadness.) Yup, hang out with Debbie Downer and you’ll be down there with her in no time flat. Once you become aware of how other people’s thoughts might be rubbing off on you, you’ll realize that happy thinkers are a better option.

Trash your negativity: According to a 2012 Ohio State University study, folks who wrote down their negative feelings about their bodies and then threw those notes away had a better self image after just a few minutes. The folks who kept their notes, not so much. Clearing your thoughts of negativity may be as easy as typing up a list and then dragging it to the trash

Warm up: Have you ever noticed how often “cold” and “lonely” show up together. In 2012 Yale researchers found that people recalled fewer negative feelings when holding on to a hot pack. Weird, right? They also found that lonely people tend to take longer hot showers. So the next time your thoughts turn to the dark side, grap a cuppa and warm up.