Mol Reads Books: Trust the Focus by Megan Erickson
I received this book for free from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review.
Trust the Focus by Megan Erickson Series: In Focus #1
Published by Penguin Intermix on March 17, 2015
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Buy @ Barnes&Noble • Buy @ Amazon • Genres: new adult
Source: Galley from the publisher
With his college graduation gown expertly pitched into the trash, Justin Akron is ready for the road trip he planned with his best friend Landry— and ready for one last summer of escape from his mother’s controlling grip. Climbing into the Winnebago his father left him, they set out across America in search of the sites his father had captured through the lens of his Nikon.
As an aspiring photographer, Justin can think of no better way to honor his father’s memory than to scatter his ashes at the sites he held sacred. And there’s no one Justin would rather share the experience with more than Landry.
But Justin knows he can’t escape forever. Eventually he’ll have to return home and join his mother’s Senate campaign. Nor can he escape the truth of who he is, and the fact that he’s in love with his out-and-proud travel companion.
Admitting what he wants could hurt his mother’s conservative political career. But with every click of his shutter and every sprinkle of ash, Justin can’t resist Landry’s pull. And when the truth comes into focus, neither is prepared for the secrets the other is hiding.
No gif-tastic review for this book, lovelies. It meant a great deal to me, made me swoon and laugh and cry, so I need to do something a bit different. I call this my “Love Letter to an Author.”
Dear Megan Erickson,
As soon as I heard about TRUST THE FOCUS and JusLan, I was excited. The world needs more boy/boy books. More friends-to-more books, because sometimes those are just the most poignant. And most importantly, we need more coming out books, and books that combine the scariness of coming out, with the freedom, deep-breath-and-get-busy-living-ness of afterward. Of After. Of Being You, Genuinely. Of Leaving the Fear Behind. Of Not Being Ashamed. We need all of these things, and you made TRUST THE FOCUS a celebration of them, of friendship and romance, and two guys being friends who are in love, and how big and overwhelming that is, and how love is worth changing your life for.
I’ve talked a lot about my coming out experience, about the aftermath, and about why we need diverse books, and the type of diverse books I plan to write. I’ve talked about what it’s like to be out and in love. I’ve tried to show that the positives in my life since I came out far outweigh the negative, but I believe that *both* aspects — the before and the after — are relevant and inspiring and vital.
What I loved so much about TRUST THE FOCUS is that it all comes together. You have the richly written setting along the road trip route, the beautifully described emotions (grief, wonder, fear), and most of all, the characters. *sigh* I immediately felt like I knew Landry: silly, out-and-proud Landry, with his ink and tendency to burst out singing, his huge, beating heart, and Justin: closeted, caring, afraid, angry, missing his dad. Justin, with his carefully guarded secrets, his other side that no one ever saw. Justin, who could reach Landry when no one else could.
Oh, these boys.
JusLan were the heart of TRUST THE FOCUS. With every picture Justin took, every blog post Landry created, I felt myself giving in to the feelings this book was making me feel so keenly. The doubt both guys so obviously felt, that a relationship would ever happen for them. The amazement, the hope that it could. The fear — would they be able to make it work? Would the world accept them? I know that fear. I’ve inhaled it, exhaling even more of it as I stood in front of yet another new person I needed to come out to, waiting with baited breath for that moment when their expression shuttered, changing.
It hasn’t happened more than a handful of times, but God, I always anticipate it. I know what Justin and Landry were feeling, as they worked through it, choosing bravery and hope over fear. I know what they went through, before they were honest with each other. When I realized I was falling for my best friend, I spent a few weeks wrestling with what to do before I told her how I felt, and asked if she thought there was any chance for us.
I wondered for weeks. Justin and Landry wondered for years. Years. At the point of TRUST THE FOCUS where we knew they were taking that leap together, over the hill they’d pushed up together, I had cried so often. Laughed. Swooned. Yearned just like the two of them, for that moment, that spark that would light their flame.
I read the second half of TRUST THE FOCUS on my back porch, sitting in the sunshine. There were moments I didn’t think I’d be able to finish, because of the beautiful sense that they’d each found their path. Megan wrote that SO very well. It resonated, seeing them each want to change, partially for the other, but mostly for themselves. Seeing all of Justin’s growth felt so much like my own, those moments when I was facing a crossroads and made the choice to live bravely, to shed all my armor and march forward, no matter what it meant…because it was worth it, to be ME, finally.
During TRUST THE FOCUS, I’d have to put down my Nook several times because I was crying too hard. Sometimes it was from sadness, wondering if JusLan would make it through this storm or that one. Sometimes it was from happiness. And more than once, it was because I was texting quotes to my girl, my path, my heart.
“I wouldn’t change it you know,” he said, his breath raising goose bumps on the skin of my neck. “The girls, the other boys, everything we experienced before this moment. Because that was all wrong. And I think we needed to feel what was wrong to know what’s right.”
Like that one there. I cried so much when I let those words wash over me like an ocean wave. I’ve been there. I’ve felt what’s wrong so that I’d be prepared, ready to be in the relationship that was right.
I could go on for days about this book, about how *important* it is. About how relevant coming-out stories still ARE, because there are places were LGBTQ folks still aren’t safe, where we have to weigh the pros and cons of coming out against staying closeted. I could pull quotes, scenes that tugged so hard at my heart. I could talk to you about what a well-written, beautiful, BRAVE book TRUST THE FOCUS is.
Or I could just ask you to read it for yourself. Please.
Megan, thank you thank you for such a lovely, heart-felt book. Thank you for giving a voice to people like me. Thank you for reminding me that the choice to live honestly and genuinely is always, always worth whatever comes afterward.
