2015 New Year’s resolutions…

My resolutions for this baby new year:

*Not call anyone a fucktard…day two and I already blew that one.

*Remember my apple password so I don’t have to reset it every time.  I’m thinking, “fuckyouapple.”

*Check my meds every two months.

*Not wake up dead…day two and I already nailed that one…twice!

*Sneeze.  Yup, already nailed it!

*Find that fucking sock even if I have to dismantle the dryer.

*Forget past mistakes and make entirely new ones.

*Totally and literally stop using hyperbole and use words correct.  (dammit!)

*Work out…well, think about working out…well, think about pizza.

Really, I hope to log about 400 miles with my pack on this year, finish the first draft of the new book, pimp the holy, god loving shit out of my novel (to be released in June) (by “holy, god loving shit” I mean I’ll go anywhere and do anything that isn’t excessively illegal or immoral…”excessively” is really just a guideline,) climb a few mountains, climb a particular mountain with a particular friend and hope he doesn’t die, fall down a couple spectacular rivers, be thankful every day for a BSW (that’s an easy one), learn to play three songs on my harmonica, finally perfect my foundry and crucible and make cool shit, learn to cut a bottle perfectly in half, write a few sentences good enough to make me go, “Oh yeah baby,” in a Barry White voice, grow a rock star garden, be happy (that’s the tough one), and I really want to find that fucking sock.