How To Capture A Reader

Ever met someone you really wanted to impress? I'll bet you practiced ahead of time what you would say before you opened your mouth. Am I right?



Introducing readers to a story is much the same.



I've heard some readers say that they give a book fifty pages to catch their attention. Those are the generous, kind folks who really want to like your book. Most people will only read the first page. Some won't read past the first sentence, unless . . .



. . .you give them a reason to keep reading.



Ultimately, all readers want a story that will sweep them away from their ordinary world. The best way to catch their attention is through engaging their emotions with a character, a story world, an action, or a combination of all three.



Something in that opening sentence has to capture the reader's curiosity and resonate with them.



Here are some options to consider when crafting your opening sentence:

A character who wants something badly (Why? Because we empathize with someone who wants something badly.)
A character who intrigues or interests
A shocking action, statement, or thought
Something surprising, or even ominous
An establishment of the setting (It's especially effective to paint the setting with the tone of the scene.)
Let's analyze some opening sentences of existing literary works. Feel free to add more in the comments.

There once was a velveteen rabbit, and in the beginning he was really splendid.

This simple sentence works for me. Why? Because it introduces character--a velveteen rabbit, so obviously a toy--and it shows the story problem, that this poor velveteen rabbit was no longer splendid. We immediately feel sympathy for this toy, because we all know that part of the attraction to a toy is newness. In addition, we've all felt like that rabbit--used up, no longer important. (Amazing that so much can come through in one sentence, huh?)



Here's another children's book example:

I went to sleep with gum in my mouth and now there's gum in my hair and when I got out of bed this morning I tripped on the skateboard and by mistake I dropped my sweater in the sink while the water was running and I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

Who says run-on sentences are a no-no? Again, we get a strong sense of character, even though no one is mentioned other than "I." This sentence is a great example of character voice, and the reader is introduced to the character immediately. By this sentence we can tell the person speaking is young and most likely a boy. And the all-important conflict and story problem is evident. Once more, the reader relates. Who hasn't had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day? The sentence raises questions in our minds: Is the rest of the day going to be just as bad? How is the character going to cope with this horrible day?

When Mr. Bilbo Baggins of Bag End announced that he would shortly be celebrating his eleventy-first birthday with a party of special magnificence, there was much talk and excitement in Hobbiton.

At first glance, this seems almost boring, but there are key words that make us readers sit up and notice this place is not an ordinary setting, and therefore not an ordinary story. Can you find the words? In addition, we're captivated by "a party of special magnificence" that's causing such a stir in Hobbiton.

I have just returned from a visit to my landlord--the solitary neighbor that I shall be troubled with.

Story problem arises in this opening, as well as the character who thinks the thought, both raising questions in the reader's mind. The conflict surrounds one neighbor--even worse, a landlord!--a person that the main character is sure will cause trouble. Character voice is again strong through the use of the word "solitary" and the phrasing of the sentence. Reader empathy takes place because we've all had that one neighbor, or heaven forbid, that landlord, who makes our life miserable, and we know it from the first time we meet them. This book is also a romance, and that important first meeting of the hero and heroine sets the stage for the story.

Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.

Everyone who reads this sentence will have questions. Who is the character who thinks these thoughts? How do they know about unhappy families? Personal experience? What made this person's family unhappy?



Let's discuss the following opening lines and discuss what makes them work. And, as mentioned previously, feel free to add your own in the comments.

What can be more devastating than a catastrophe which arrives out of the blue?
When I left my office that beautiful spring day, I had no idea what was in store for me.
Until I began to build and launch rockets, I didn't know my hometown was at war with itself over its children and that my parents were locked in a kind of bloodless combat over how my brother and I would live our lives.
Last night I dreamt I went to Manderley again.
Later that summer, when Mrs. Penmark looked back and remembered, when she was caught up in despair so deep that she knew there was no way out, no solution whatever for the circumstances that encompassed her; it seemed to her that June seventh, the day of the Fern Grammar School picnic, was the day of her last happiness, for never since then had she known contentment or felt peace.
Who am I? And how, I wonder, will this story end?
Call me Ishmael.
Janice Capshaw liked to run at night.
A throng of bearded men, in sad-colored garments and gray, steeple-crowned hats, intermixed with women, some wearing hoods, and others bareheaded, was assembled in front of a wooden edifice, the door of which was heavily timbered with oak, and studded with iron spikes.
The undertaker's men were like crows, stiff and black, and the cars were black, lined up beside the path that led to the church; and we, we too were black, as we stood in our pathetic, awkward group waiting for them to lift out the coffin and shoulder it, and for the clergyman to arrange himself; and he was another black crow, in his long cloak.
When Augustus came out on the porch the blue pigs were eating a rattlesnake--not a very big one.
On January 6, 1482, the people of Paris were awakened by the tumultuous clanging of all the bells in the city.
There should have been a dark whisper in the wind.
Kate O'Malley had been in the dungeon since dawn.
A man begins dying at the moment of his birth.
The defense calls James Lee Mitchell III to the witness stand.
I've always wondered what people felt in the final few hours of their lives.
When I first saw my temporary secretary it never occurred to me to flirt with him.
When he was nearly thirteen, my brother Jem got his arm badly broken at the elbow.
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way--in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.
I look forward to your thoughts and comments!