Musing.

Ever since I don't when, I've had Gillian Anderson in my head as Lily.  But I'm fickle.

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Lily?

Emma Thompson – What do you think?

I'm working on Portal 3 (still "Child of the Portal" at the moment) and as the first draft draws to a close there are some revelations that are wringing the emotion from Lily, tearing her apart and forcing her to see herself as less than the super human who can just waft in and save the day at exactly the right moment.  There are things happening that really test her and push her to make the choices she's been avoiding.  Lily is being made to face her own demons and the lasting effects of the actions she took and the choices she made before she knew Kate, before she left Ametsam.

Then last night, or rather early this morning, I woke suddenly with a scream in my head. Kate's been yelling at me all day and something's wrong with Lily. It's like watching a film and there's that shock scene where something bad happens to the hero and you can't quite believe that they're hurt, human, possibly fallible. It's like turning the page and hoping against hope that your hero isn't too badly hurt, that they're going to get up, any minute now…..

And then they don't and the book/film is over and you're left with that empty feeling.

Lily's giving up on me.

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