Bipolar Disorder Depression: ” Julie, Can You Help Me? I Feel Like I Can’t Go On….”

Here is a post from last year when I was in a down swing. I hope it helps if you’re in a downswing today. Julie

I’ve been posting a lot to Facebook lately. I have a wonderful bipolar disorder community on my page and I find great solace, fun and a lot of joy from the posts. Here is a question from a reader and my answer.

” Julie, please help me. I feel like I can’t go on… How do you do it? .”

 It took me many years to find the answer, but it’s simple- I understand and accept that the feeling that I can’t go on is just another symptom of bipolar disorder and it’s common when you’re in a down swing. It’s common after you have had a bad manic episode- it’s so common that I wrote two posts about shame just in the past week because I had to deal with it after being manic once again.  When you feel like you can’t go on- the feeling is real. It does feel literally like you can’t go on, but you can. You have probably done it many times before. I believe that thinking that one day that feeling is going to stop is what gets us into trouble. Feeling that you can’t go on is a symptom just like feeling euphoric when you’re in a super good feeling up swing is a symptom. They are equal. One makes you feel like you can take on the world, the other makes you feel that you can’t handle another day. NEITHER IS REAL! Does that make sense? Just like we have to learn that chasing euphoric mania is not good for us, it’s equally not good for us to believe that we can’t go on.

I’m down tonight- which is the normal brain chemistry event that happens after a manic episode. I was manic yesterday and I’m down today. It makes sense as I have ultra rapid cycling bipolar disorder two. I’m simply experiencing the illness.  This is what makes me such a great writer and coach- I go through the mood swings just like everyone else. If you have written me and asked for advice- here it is.

EXPECT THE FEELING THAT YOU CAN’T GO ON AND HAVE A PLAN FOR IT.

My plan is to take my meds- reach out to dear and loving friends- I just texted my friend Karen and will call my friend Sherry right now because it’s what I need to do- believe me, it’s not what I want to do! And I have a favor. If you have had the feeling that you can’t go on, please leave your advice below for how you deal with it and move through it- remember, if you have bipolar disorder, it’s not going to disappear. It will return if triggered. But that is the ONE GOOD THING ABOUT THIS ILLNESS! It’s episodic- we can and usually do go back to baseline. I plan to. And darn it- no matter what, I will get out of this down swing in the next few hours by doing what I write about in my books. Helping others is what works for me. I’m interested to know what works for you and I know that all of the people who write me who are in pain would love your advice as well.

Julie

Please visit me on Facebook at Julie A. Fast

Related posts:
Bipolar Disorder and Work: I always, always feel better if I get something done
Bipolar Disorder and Suicidal Depression Downswings
A Thank You Note from Julie