I Choose!

Have you ever stopped and wondered “why me?”  Had a mental conversation with yourself, “like wtf just happened?”  Pondered how many more times you will be struck down before you don’t get up anymore?

  

I am today what I should have been in the past, however, it was the past that has made me into the person I am today… David Kreger 

I used to think those thoughts every minute of each day. Of course that was before I realized that each of those “terrible moments” was making me the strong independent woman I am today. 

Some days I am fearless, ready to take on the evil in the world.  Imagine Wonder Woman, costume and all, simply because the iconic character was strong and fearless.  Other days I feel like the roadrunner always being blown up or caught by the Wiley coyote. But every morning I wake up ready to face a new day with all its challenges.

I was watching the movie “Wild” with Reese Witherspoon tonight and more than a few of the scenes brought back memories of my own life. I won’t go into detail because I don’t want to ruin the movie for those who haven’t seen it, but I would highly recommend it. 

  

My experiences are not common, they are not ordinary and not everyone will understand, and that’s all right. They are my memories and experiences. I have taken a lifetime to begin to understand them, and therefore can’t expect you to get it. Add in the fact that every one of us remembers and sees an experience differently, and the likelihood of agreeing on what happened is minute. 

Of course there are things in my life that I wish I had handled differently.  Times I should have used my words to convey my feelings rather than just remaining silent. Words I should have said to those that are gone.  But these things cannot be changed. They are done, irreversible. Going back over and over them does not serve any purpose. 

  

The answer to this age old question is simple.  We have these experiences to broaden our repertoire of reactions, and expand our knowledge base. Life is full of lessons and I have chosen to meet each challenge head on and learn as much as I can from it. In reality this makes me more prepared for the next challenge. 

Can I ever forgive myself and others who have made my life challenging?  Of course. I choose to forgive so that I can move on and have a healthy productive life. Please note this also includes forgiving myself for my part in these experiences. I have no idea what my next challenge will be, but I do know that I will meet it head on and do everything I can to make it a positive life experience. 

  

I choose to live a happy life.

I choose to avoid negativity. 

I choose to be proud of who I am. 

I choose to smile. 

I choose to make the best of each moment in my life. 

I choose not to berate myself for things that have happened in the past. 

I choose to inspire others to be who they are meant to be. 

I choose not to judge others. 

I choose to forgive. 

I choose to be me.